Mom and Masturbation

 By Tatiana von Tauber

Mom and masturbation. Now those two words that don’t work for me together only that I’m a mom and I – well, you know, make time for myself.  Here’s a fun little article from the Onion about moms and the lacking time they have to do what seems rather easy in the shower for men.  Self-attention is one reason I choose to work part-time.  If there’s no self-lovin’ for mom don’t think things will get taken care of by dad alone.

Happy Mother’s Day and dads, take the kids out of the house.  Really.  It’s what moms want.

Negotiation Theory and Rome: Season II

In any negotiation, it is important to understand what your counterpart really wants. Take this scene from HBO’s Rome, Season II, Episode 3.

Cassius: Ha ha ha.. that’s very good. So, if we could return to the subject of money. Please bear in mind, your excellency, that those who help us now will have good friends in Rome when Marc Anthony, the traitor, is deposed. Very good friends. It’s only a matter of time. With or without your help, we shall raise an army. We shall. Anthony’s head will rot on a spike.

Vésir: There are Roman women who are fucked by baboons.

Cassius: Excuse me?

Vésir: I have heard that there are shows where such things can be seen.

Cassius: .. Ahh, well, they’re not so much shows, really, they’re more of a punishment.

Vésir: I should like to see that. We do not have such in Bithynia.

Cassius: I should imagine it’s simply a matter of training the baboon..

Vésir: We have no baboons here. No apes of any kind.

Cassius: Ah, I.. I wasn’t aware of that. As I said, those who help us now..

Vésir: Yes. You want my money to raise an army. I want to see a Roman woman fucked by baboons.

Cassius: ..Perhaps arrangements can be made.