By Marty Klein, Ph.D
Special Guest to the Legal Satyricon
The Topeka and Shawnee County (Kansas) Public Library’s Board of Trustees voted last week to restrict minors’ access to four books: “Sex for Busy People,” “The Lesbian Kama Sutra,” “The Joy of Sex” and “The Joy of Gay Sex.” They deemed the material “harmful to minors.”
Here are ten reasons to support this ban:
10. Most minors have never heard of sex, and these books would confuse them.
9. The books would encourage minors to have intercourse, increasing demand for condoms and therefore the price—oh wait, Kansas kids are told condoms don’t work. Never mind.
8. If minors want to look at sexy books and pictures, they should just go to their parents’ night-table.
7. One local pastor testifying for the ban objected to “exposing our youngsters to this”–and then read explicit lines from a book not being challenged. Using this logic, Kansas book-banners are like Iranian book-banners.
6. Book banning is better than book burning, because book burning causes air pollution.
5. Only kids who can’t use computers read books. Kids should learn to use the internet, which has plenty of information about sex, all of it completely reliable.
4. TV viewing is declining, hurting advertising and therefore the economy. If kids want information about sex, they can look at music videos. This will also increase their vocabulary.
3. Better yet, minors can go to the Parents Television Council website for video clips of the sexiest shows of the week, here and here.
2. Kansas kids can learn about sex furtively, like their parents did–after all, the lack of intelligent sex education never hurt them. That’s why the state Attorney General tried to close Planned Parenthood last year, a state senator tried to shut down the highly-respected University of Kansas sexuality course, and Shirley Phelps of the local Westboro Baptist Church has demonostrated at over 100 military funerals about God hating America’s “tolerance” of homosexuality.
And the #1 reason to support restricting minors’ access to these library books…
1. If we want our kids to read stories about sex, we’ll give them the Bible.