Associate Attorney Position

This position has been filled as of November 23, 2016.  

Randazza Legal Group is looking for an associate attorney with 1-5 years of experience, but others will be considered.

Should you apply? Will you do no harm to the First Amendment, nor through inaction allow harm to come to the First Amendment? Then maybe you’ll fit in.

We mostly make our living doing First Amendment litigation, but we have a lot of international intellectual property work, work on §230 immunity cases, and we’re doing a lot more privacy based work too.  Sound like fun?  It is.

I greatly prefer that the candidate be admitted to the bar, somewhere already, but the successful applicant must be ready, willing, and able to take the Nevada bar. Candidates must be in Las Vegas or willing to relocate to Vegas. A Florida bar license is a plus, but not necessary.

You must be organized. In fact, really organized, because the boss lacks that quality. If you have not yet seen The People vs. Larry Flynt, then don’t apply until you see it. If you don’t already know New York Times v. Sullivan before the interview, you’re not going to get the job. You will be asked why I cite Kinney v. Barnes a lot. If you don’t know why before the initial phone interview, you’re not getting an in person interview.

I can teach you all the rest once you get here.

Did you go to a third, or even fourth tier law school? That’s ok. You’ve got the same shot as some prick who went to Georgetown. (Pricks from Georgetown are welcome, but will get no preference).  If you think I’m impressed by your alma mater or your GPA, you’re applying to the wrong firm.  I don’t care what your politics are.  I don’t care what your background is.  We are all misfits anyway.

What’s it pay?  You will make more money elsewhere. We do a lot of pro bono work.  When the First Amendment needs protection, and the client can’t pay, we still likely take the work.  We believe in this shit.

That said, we do have good paying clients.  And, if you’re financially productive, you’ll get more than a “thank you” and a pat on the head. The bennies are pretty good. You’ll get to work on cool stuff. We actually make a living doing First Amendment law and international intellectual property work. The firm does a six week retreat in Hawaii every year, all expenses paid, including surfing lessons. (That is a bald-faced lie. We do no such thing.)

Don’t like swear words? Good. I’m trying to work on that. Maybe you will be a positive influence on me. Speaking of which, everyone else at the place is a positive influence on me, so you’ll probably like them a lot — unless your attention to detail sucks. If that’s the case, then they will eat you alive before I get a chance to fire you.  When someone gets canned here, it is usually because the paralegals or other associates don’t like them.  How do you make them like you?  Be a team player and don’t be the weak link in the chain.

If you don’t take ownership of your tasks and your mistakes, you’re screwed. If you fuck up, and you say “mistakes were made” instead of “I made mistakes” you’ll get fired.  If you don’t understand why the first one is wrong and the second is right, don’t apply.

I want 1600 billable hours a year, which really ain’t bad. I do not want you to bill 2000, because anyplace with a requirement that high is probably encouraging you to pad your bills. You’ll get fired for that too.

If this doesn’t scare you off, then send your resume to me with a short cover email. (Subject line RLGASSOC) If you are wondering if it is too long, then it is. One page resume only. I don’t have time for an entry-level attorney who thinks that his/her life is interesting enough that they can’t tell me all of the relevant facts on a single page. If it is two pages, the second page better tell me that you wrote The Big Lebowski or you won a Nobel Prize. (And if that’s the case, it belongs on the first page).

Don’t know where to send your application? Figuring shit like that out is going to be part of your job. Figure it out. Yeah, it’s test number 1.

2 Responses to Associate Attorney Position

  1. kimberly a irvin says:

    omigods i would LOVE to work for you. or, better yet, with you. however, as an advertising creative professional, i am either under- or overqualified. and i’m 60, way too old for this shit. but you? i like.

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