Don’t let your children use the internet

By J. DeVoy

From Jessica Leonhardt, a/k/a Jessi Slaughter, 11-year-old Florida resident:

Im sorry guys.  I really am.  I just figured that picture was all over 4chan and ebaumsworld and everything.  And it reallly isnt child porn is it? [Ed.’s note: CHECK YOU THIRD CIRCUIT PRECEDENTS.]  you couldnt seee anything, it was like seeing me in a bathing suit.  people that are minors post pictures of themselves in bathing suits all the time.  like i did. and you really couldnt see anything in that last picture. so is everyone on tumblr going to get arrested then for distribution of child porn? and ebaums world? and my impersonators posting stuff too? im sorry, please reply to this with a serious answer? im trying my best to type right for you guys and everything. anyone? (source.)

For obvious reasons, the risque picture, which apparently has made its rounds on the internet, won’t be supplied on this blog.

Naturally, parents who only tangentially understand the internet and its lasting consequences, viewing computers as bizarre voodoo boxes, overreact and embarrass themselves.  Memes are born.

Consequences will never be the same indeed.  My internets will only be enriched by the entries of “backtrace” and “cyber police” into popular culture.

The obvious and serious issue that stands out in all of this girl’s videos is the same: What is an 11-year-old girl doing with unsupervised internet use in what’s apparently her bedroom?  The tone of this blog is consistently anti-censorship, and this post’s title is hyperbole, but sometimes free expression and exchange of information gives way to common sense – don’t give your tween child unfettered and unmonitored internet access.  Putting the family computer, or the only computer to which children can access the internet, in a high-traffic and public area of the home is not new advice, and something consciously done by my parents and my friends’ parents even in the 1990s.

Clearly, not every child with unregulated internet access will end up in this position.  Seeing as it happens, though, why take a chance?  It’s unfortunate that Ms. Leonhardt has to be held up as an example in this case, but this is a teachable moment – as stomach-turning as the phrase is – about the internet’s true nature.  The exposure she receives on this blog is a drop in the bucket compared to what’s already been written about her, and is an important reminder about the worst case scenario for your child and family.

Further reading: Encyclodpedia Dramatica (not recommended if your employer is Goatse-averse).

UPDATE: Despite being viewed OVER 9,000 times, the circumstances of this story have changed this post’s content.  First, Leonhardt has deleted her above-quoted blog.  Second, the video originally linked in this post, along with many others, has been taken down from YouTube due to a terms of use violation.  Thus, I send you off into the weekend with this remix.

22 Responses to Don’t let your children use the internet

  1. […] Read More This entry was posted in News and tagged 4chan, encyclopedia dramatica, jesse slaughter, kerli girl 13, kerligirl13. Bookmark the permalink. ← Michael Schoeffling […]

  2. […] Read More This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged 4chan, encyclopedia dramatica, jesse slaughter, kerli girl 13, kerligirl13. Bookmark the permalink. ← Christopher Morgan […]

  3. […] Read More […]

  4. dan says:

    Internet is dangerous, some websites like ebaumsworld.com may track you and ruin your life, like they did to this innocent teenager

  5. Frederick says:

    Regardless of whether or not the case in question was clearly identifiable as a desktop computer, I’m pretty sure an 11 year-old knows how to grab the netbook/laptop with a built in camera and bring it into their room. Since not all parents are tech savvy you can’t expect them to have the knowhow to secure the wireless network and setup users accounts on all the computers, so I don’t see how having the family desktop in a high traffic area would solve this problem. I suppose you could put all the non-desktop computers into the gun safe next to the shotgun the average parent is afraid to let their children see, let alone touch, but I don’t see that as a very practical solution.

    • J DeVoy says:

      Valid points, but not an excuse for complete failure in being aware of what your child is doing online and otherwise. I’m not saying it has to be regulated or even monitored use, but there should be some specter of “mom and dad will find out” hanging over internet use at a certain age.

    • Marc says:

      This “oh, it’s impossible to keep kids from doing what they’re going to do” line doesn’t really hold water with me… Especially at eleven. If you’re talking about a sixteen year old, I’d be willing to cut you some slack.

      I mean, how tech savvy does a parent need to be in order to identify that the family netbook/laptop with built in camera isn’t where it’s supposed to be?

      If it’s supposed to be in the living room, and it’s not, go find it. If you find that your 11 year-old snuck off to their room with it against your express orders, discipline them. This doesn’t seem like it should be that complicated.

      I am speaking somewhat from ignorance, not having kids of my own. However, when I was eleven, fear of my mother beating my ass with the big wooden spoon (which she used exclusively for disciplining unruly children) would have kept me from trying to pull that shit. And if you’re not into spanking, or wooden spoon use, then ground the shit out of the little brat. And if you’re truly that miserable a parent that your kid at eleven already doesn’t respect you, cancel your internet. You probably don’t deserve to have it anyways…

      • Frederick says:

        I can agree that some sort of discipline would be in order. Unfortunately, the consequences of situations like this are not undone by anything done after the fact. My point wasn’t to say that parents shouldn’t try to be parents, but to realize that parenting isn’t as simple as people try to make it seem. No matter what you do as a parent your children are going to find a way to do dumb things. I know I did. Fortunately, I never did anything that negatively affected my life as an adult.

  6. Sean F. says:

    I disagree with you. Parents need less control over their children, not more.

    • J DeVoy says:

      These parents’ lives would be much easier if they engaged in even passive “monitoring” of their daughter’s internet use. They didn’t have to install software or anything – just relocate the computer until she’s older. I agree with the idea that children shouldn’t be restricted in the information they access, but the threat of oversight and discovery should be present until the child can be solely accountable for his or her own actions.

      As it stands now, and has been documented by EncyclopediaDramatica, a legion of internet trolls ordered dozens of pizzas and escorts for the Leonhardt household. Their faces are the stuff of internet jokes, their time is now spent dealing with the police – cyber or real – and their esteem in the local and national community has been lowered immeasurably because of their unruly spawn. Children will be children, and they learn by experience, but I think it’s bizarre not to exercise some monitoring authority over them when you’re the one ultimately liable.

      • Sean F. says:

        I think that this child IS solely accountable for her own actions. I think most children are.

        If internet access isn’t restricted, then what is the threat of oversight? There’s no punishment to fear so how does monitoring do anything? Are you hoping for the threat of disappointment from the parents will awaken the conscience in children?

        Anyway, my main point is, “She dun goofed” and it’s no one’s fault but her own.

    • Dan Someone says:

      It’s not a matter of “control.” An 11-year-old girl needs parents who will set appropriate boundaries and teach her to live within them. Allowing kids to be “free range” is perfectly fine, and IMO much healthier for them than helicopter parenting, but that’s not the same thing as letting them run wild without supervision.

      • Sean F. says:

        “Appropriate boundaries” are control. By creating a line that can’t be crossed you control (or attempt to control) your child.

        Good parenting is not telling your kids what to do, it’s telling them what you would do in their place.

        In other words, most parents are bad parents.

        • Eowyn54 says:

          I suspect, Sean F, that you have no children. Of course a child is personally responsible for what she does, but a responsible parent also tries to minimize the damage that completely unfettered behaviour can lead to. Maybe you can accept the life-changing or even destroying consequences of your actions, but children are given parents for a reason: to keep them alive and healthy until they grow up. No supervision is being irresponsible.

  7. Dan Someone says:

    Sean, I don’t know if you’re a parent or not, but one thing that’s guaranteed to make a parent disinclined to listen to your arguments about parenting, regardless of whether you are or are not a parent, is to tell them that if they don’t do it your way, they are a “bad parent.”

    Children are not just miniature adults, and they cannot be treated as such. A child’s capacity to understand and self-impose limits will change as the child grows. A 2-year-old isn’t going to make good, safe decisions just because you say, “If I were you, here’s how I would handle this.” Maybe a teenager will, maybe not — you’re more likely to get an eye-roll than an “OK, that makes sense, thanks Dad.”

  8. Dan Someone says:

    Oh, and one more thing: Good parenting is whatever turns your kids into happy, healthy people who understand how to function in society.

    • J DeVoy says:

      I strongly disagree. The bar needs to be a little higher than that. Not leaps and bounds higher, but higher than the self-actualization “be happy, healthy [however you’re subjectively defining it]” and able to “function” in society, which is again poorly defined. Plenty of people do all those things while being mediocre. While not everyone has the same abilities, talents and gifts, there’s a certain lake wobegon effect where no parents want their child to be content with mediocrity. (At least within the community reading this blog, diverse as it is.)

    • Sean F. says:

      I’ve met MAYBE 6 or 7 people who were truly happy. How many have you met?

      If good parenting requires all three components (even though I wholeheartedly disagree with your third), then, by your own standards, most parents are bad parents, or “not good parents” at the very least.

  9. nameis says:

    This is what she posted about an hour later:

  10. […] point: kids need at least a bit of supervision (as one blogger said, perhaps leaving the internet connected computer in a non-private area) and parents should not expect their kids to expect verbal consequences to their actions. Parents […]

  11. […] of Scientology; created the entire lolcats genre; gave us memegenerator.com; and generally been the cyber police’s most […]

  12. […] the entire lolcats genre; gave us memegenerator; bombed Youtube with porn; and generally been the cyber police’s most […]