Wanted: Satyriconista

If we had the time to make an audiovisual ad for this position, it would look something like this:

Since we don’t, you’ll need to settle for this written post.

We are seeking a new contributor. The editor prefers that it be a law student, because to date, two law students who were Satyriconistas eventually became associates at the editor’s law firm. This is not going to be some dead end, if the right person steps forward.

The winner will be able to quickly and coherently organize research presented to him or her, and write an interesting blog post on short notice – often within 3 hours.  A treatise is not necessary, and a few hundred words of lucid thoughts, with maybe a youtube video sprinkled in, will suffice… and probably be better than tl;dr egghead analysis.

You should be internet fluent. Know your memes. Don’t be a flake. If we assign you a post, do the goddamned thing. You should know basic HTML. By “basic” I mean the absolute basics.

HOW TO APPLY:

Send the following items to SatyriconApps AT gmail DOT com:

  • A current resume, ONE PAGE ONLY.  Remove your GPA.
  • A link to a blog you write, or a sample of prior blogging/journalistic writing.  If it is a blog you write pseudononymously, think of a way to prove your identity to us; we’ll agree to confidentiality. DO NOT send your 1L LRW assignment.
  • An email telling us, in 200 words or less, why you should be a Satyriconista
  • If you’re attractive, a recent photo. If you are not attractive, send a photo of someone attractive and lie to us and tell us that it is you.

Due to proximity concerns, we have a preference for law students at the University of Nevada – Las Vegas, Boyd School of Law. This is merely a preference; getting the right candidate is more important than regularly taking him or her out to see how much wine our new blogger can drink in one sitting. Although, if you are local to Las Vegas, you will likely be subjected to such experiments.

We have a very strong preference for law students from almost anywhere with backgrounds or degrees in journalism, public relations, or English.

I’ve enjoyed being the proprietor of this blog for several years.  Here’s what DeVoy had to say about his experience:

Blogging has focused my writing.  When restricted to a few hundred words on an area where I might not have any familiarity with the law, blogging helps cut to the heart of the matter and quickly research issues.

Fischer, on the other hand just said:

I blogged. I did it well. It led to a job. Nuff said.

So there you have it.  Applications will be considered on a rolling basis (i.e., they will be reviewed as they are submitted) until November 15, 2011.

We do not accept applications from law students or graduates of the following institutions:

  1. Cooley Law (any law school that files a SLAPP suit, especially a FTT, soils the chances of all that put its name on their resume)
  2. University of St. Thomas School of Law, because it has no balls. No balls at all. Seriously, fuck that place and its spineless administration, selling out the First Amendment like whimpering mewling cowards. No school with such a weak spine could ever produce a decent lawyer.

NOTE: We reserve the right to have Scott Greenfield vet any applications, and for him to mock them if he sees fit. The weak need not apply. They will be eaten.

3 Responses to Wanted: Satyriconista

  1. Ken says:

    I totally just got my idea for my first novel.

  2. Ooi says:

    Is there a difference between Satyricon and Satryicon, or did you just misspell the blog’s name in the title of this post?

  3. Darren says:

    I would suggest that if you were the kid in law school who raised your hand in every class, you should probably not apply to this as well. You will be flogged.

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