It’s been a while since I’ve been in the land of the fake and blonde. Though my years living in the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale area naturally included diversity of culture, food, people and philosophies, one thing was guaranteed: where there was beach there was skin and where there was skin there were Barbie wannabes.
Having grown up around diversity the “class” of Barbie doll girls didn’t faze me much. It was simply a part of the usual scenery and while a boob or two were occasionally so large I had to stop and stare, I’d normally go about my business barely noticing the bleach blond, top heavy, over-tanned dolls that strutted in their mini skirts or sold hot dogs in bikinis by the side of the road. (Because of rubber necking which created accidents, string bikini girls selling hot dogs on the side of the road were banned in Ft. Lauderdale).
I don’t particularly demean Barbie wannabes as every woman has the right to express herself as she deems fit. However, the more I try to prepare my own daughters for success and the more I learn about sexuality, feminism and life in general the more I feel like a large group of women simply lost one of the main factors of feminism’s journey towards women’s freedom and that’s self-respect in the area of sexuality and their bodies.
The Barbie phenomenon has crossed over from plastic on the shelves to plastic within the body by young women who haven’t even had enough time to appreciate the body they were born with. (I’m not talking about the flat chested girl who really has confidence issues. I refer to the girl who wears a 36B bra and ups her cup size into double letters.) Nor have they even gotten to understand sexuality, erotic relationships or love in themselves. Such understandings take time to discover but now, the Barbie phenomenon reaches them before they have a chance to understand why it actually hurts them.
I’m not judging the boob job or the porn look but there’s a clear line between the boob job for a better look which adds a personal level of confidence and the one which screams “fuck me”. While I’ll be the first to attest that an occasional fuck once in a while can be a good thing, the Barbie boob look advertises it as the standard even if the girl is looking for love (in most cases she is) and in such, attracts exactly the kind of man that give all men a bad name. Therefore, it’s an endless cycle of “good vs. evil”, supply and demand.
The biggest problem I see is that many women – particularly the younger generation – are confused between what sexy is as presented by mainstream and raunch culture and what sexy can be when done right. “Right” is subjective but in the case of sexual respect vs. disrespect I think it’s pretty clear. There will always be the need and desire for a Barbie porn look but its mainstream popularity is unsettling. While I support sexual and feminist freedom, it’s enough simply wearing a skirt, heels and a V-neck shirt as this automatically creates the open door for flirtation or a glance by men – especially if confidence sits beneath the clothes and guaranteed if the woman wears a smile on her face. Some men like the “fuck me” girls. Others don’t. Both groups of women get to flirt, have sex and be “admired” by the guy but one of them is guaranteed to almost always get fucked.
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Pretty is pretty, isn’t it. It’s not so much definable as it is present when it’s there and absent when it’s not. I suppose the “Barbie” look serves its purpose for those women who want it. Does it really scream “fuck me?” or does it scream “I want you to WANT to fuck me?” I’m not sure.
When I was in my dating phase, I did find the look attractive, but in the end, I always ended up with a brunette. That’s just what was sexy to me. Sure, the Barbie look was sexy too, just not AS sexy.
The barbie look is like masturbation… It gets the job done for almost everyone, but it gets old after a while. And it’s not the sort of thing most guys want to build a life around.
Speak for yourself! Ha! J/k
This topic is fertile ground on many themes. In terms of feminism, there is a distinct difference between a woman dressing a certain way because it makes her feel sexy and a woman who is -pardon the womens’ studies term- so entirely male-identified that she has adopted the Barbie-look primarily as a means to attract a man. Her sense of value as a woman derives exclusively from her desirablilty as a sexual object. The entire cycle perpetuates a female ideal that not only unrealistic but is verging on being freakish. Sarting with Pam Anderson on the 90s, it seemed to me that Hollywood was pushing a female look that looked a whole lot like tranny (wide shoulders, narrow hips, fake tits, big hair, heavy make-up). A similar argument could be made about the increasing “feminization” of men in the media, with their chest-waxing, eyebrow-shaping and heavy use of makeup and hair products (it seems that both genders are morphing towrds some sort of she-male sexual ideal).
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying porn, but that imagery is supposed to be fantasy, not something to strive for in your life as an adult. That’s why the men always have elephant cocks and the women never fart (I’m talking vanilla porn, no kink).
Marc, feel free to add whatever coarse comment you want. In the end you married a woman who is quite “natural”.
I sure did. And she’s the hottest chick who ever made out with me. And she looks great no matter what she’s wearing, or when she’s wearing it.
I think you’re right about the hollywood type being almost tranny-esque.
funny you mention the feminized male … I read somewhere that when women are ovulating, they are attracted to more masculine men. However, lack of ovulation makes them trend toward more feminine men. That makes sense. ..
but, what the study also found was that since the advent of the birth control pill, two things happened — feminine men became more toward the ideal (since less breeding age women were ovulating regularly) and that marital instability might have gone up as a result — since a lot of women meet and marry a guy when they are on their “feminine male” kick, caused by lack of ovulation. Once they go off the pill, the guy they liked is now seen as less of a strong breeding partner.
I am no biologist, so maybe its all bullshit, but it sure makes sense.
Wow, that would be a really fucked up downside to women controlling their reproductivity.
Ummm…Really? I think the “birth control leads to marrying pansy-boys” argument is pretty fucking dubious Marc. As is the idea that martial instability results from women choosing less macho mates. That’s just crappy eugenic babble. Now, if you were to assert that marital instability in Western culture may be linked to women having more freedom to do something in life other than stay and home and raise babies… THAT makes sense.
Similarly, the “feminization of men” that you complain of might hold water if your entire historical view is from John Wayne to the present, in America. But, if you take any broader a historical view, I don’t think that holds water. Especially since what is considered “feminine” or “masculine” has changed over time and fluctuates according to cultural trends, class changes, and the fashion of the day. Today, a man who wears eyeliner and other makeup, does little or no manual labor, and flirts with bisexuality may be considered an effeminate man. But, in ancient Egypt, it meant he was a member of the ruling class and was a sign of male virility. See also ancient Greece and Rome, or the entire Renaissance period in Europe for further examples of male “femininity” being synonymous with perceived male social status and prowess. Or, in Thailand, the “lady boy” pheonom has nothing to do with male/female sexuality at all, and is instead the result of cultural expectations about offspring gender symmetry. Etc., etc., etc.
Here, dont argue with me. Argue with Reuters. article here
In the “oddly enough” section. You’re right, I’ve been bested. Clear scientific evidence.
Also, I disagree that Orlando Bloom is effeminate looking. He’s just hot. And, I’m not even on the pill (nod to all the macho fellas out there).
Jesus christ you’re a snarky ass sometimes. (mwah) I’m just sayin’ … there was a study, I didn’t do it.
As far as desirability goes – that’s different than masculinity. What’s masculine is masculine. Maybe the ancient Egyptians liked their men effete too, and maybe because a wiry little androgynous guy looked like he didn’t have to do any work on his own? I dunno… but the study seems to make sense. Don’t blame me if the science behind it is flawed, and dont credit me if it isn’t.
The Barbie look is a cultural uniform. Just like the skirt suit or the burqa. It’s designed to easily communicate a particular message that everyone will understand without having to think too much. It’s branding.
To me, the Barbie look screams “I’m too insecure not to conform, and I’m desperate for male attention of any kind, and sex is the most effective currency in the attention-getting market.” The Barbie look is the social equivalent of all those boys and girls in law school who lined up on interview day, all in their black suits and light blue button down shirts that scream “I’m exactly what what you’re looking for in a new associate; nothing more, nothing less.” Like that, the Barbie look says “you already know what I’m about, and I’ve conformed myself to what I think you want.”
Don’t get me wrong, uniforms have their uses. I wear a suit to court because I want the court or the jury focused on my client’s case, and not my wardrobe. Just like a woman in, say, Baghdad would wear a burqa to avoid attracting unwanted scorn.
But, is it a healthy uniform to put on? Well, no. Sexy? Ya, maybe. Enjoyable? Perhaps. But, then again, so is a Big Mac. Doesn’t make it good for you though.
The Barbie uniform says “I’d like some male attention, so I’m open to sexual advances.” That’s a problem for the many girls who don’t grok the second piece – they think the uniform is the only/best way to get ANY male attention, when in fact it may get them only the wrong kind.
As a guy, I like the look. As a dad, I will make sure my daughter understands the message it sends. Dave Chappelle has a great bit on this phenomenon -http://www.coloredhumor.com/dave-chappelle/dave-chappelle-whore-s-uniform.html
I have been a natural D since high school and mother saw to it that I (and all my sisters) had good support Bali underwires — and trained me in particular (having more of the problem) to “have class” and “let ’em guess.”
A family friend going back to that time mentioned in recent years that I have “always been modest” which was fine by me. I never thought I missed any experiences worth having by being that way. Very very few sordid incidents and those from men of the worst kind. The kind dad would have recruited my brothers to join in and go after with baseball bats.
I guess it is mostly good background with appropriate protectiveness and I have always had a sense of being fortunate.