By Tatiana von Tauber
Confidence is the biggest motivator of hotness there is. I’ve been trying to figure out why exactly confidence is so enduring, sensual, erotic and empowering not from the standpoint of having confidence but viewing others with it. It’s just sexy when in its right doses. I think confidence is like a musk, a pheromone likeness that ignites the brain’s attraction zone. The ugliest people can be very attractive if they’re confident in their own skin (a sense of humor and reasonable intelligence helps too). I think the same for fat chicks.
One obstacle I face in attracting women to have erotic and boudoir photos taken is most of them think they’re fat. For those who are, convincing them that weight has little to do with sexual and erotic confidence is like convincing a tween that the pimple on the face isn’t as big as she thinks it is. The horror is all relative. It’s hard to run from external imprints especially with beauty magazines doing everything to make the average (and healthy weighted) woman feel like a fat pig.
Plus size model, Crystal Renn
Now a plus size model, Crystal Renn, used to be “too thin for a size 0” before the modeling industry broke her down into an all out eating jamboree after years of eating less than 1,000 calories a day. She’s now a healthy size 12. For many women, size 12 is fat (for the modeling industry it nears obesity) but if a size 12 woman can look hot and an even larger woman (“Largely Lovely“) edge, if not pass an erotic look, then the answer to the puzzling question of why fat chicks are hot seems only imprinted in the level of confidence they hold with respect to body image.
Renn and the “Largely Lovely” model I photographed exhibit a this is me and I love it attitude. When a fat chick* can get into a bikini or naked and be proud, that’s confidence and even those who don’t find larger bodies sexy seem surprised that for a moment their mind gave large women more credit than previously. That’s appealing because it has good potential for women. It’s a stepping stone for breaking down the barriers society – mainly modern media – has created about what constitutes an attractive woman. If capitalism gained on the enterprise of good character opposed to good body, most women today would feel more sexually confident and everyone would strive for better character. Ah. I’m such the failing idealist.
With the American porn industry saturated with Barbie dolls and European markets drenched in “barely 18” girls, mass media creating young adults out of teens and actresses role modeling plastic surgery to fit in, there’s a slice of the pie that’s missed and it’s the sex appeal the average to large woman can have. Clearly it’s possible but just as for thin women, looking hot takes some effort. There’s a clear line between the fat woman who possesses confidence in her style and one who just looks like a blown up beach ball with lots of large Hibiscus prints, respectfully. Looking good and feeling good ignite confidence and all three require conscious effort.
While it would progress both genders, large women really ought to open up to new meanings and visions of what is and can be sexy and become it. That’s where confidence sits. Perhaps that’s why find it so appealing. It’s nothing short of sexy. As far as I’m concerned, it’s always nice to see a sexy and confident woman no matter what her size. They’re few and far between right now. That makes Renn and others like her healthy role models for the socially indoctrinated, which is basically everyone.
* fat chick is, of course, relative as well
By Email
By RSS Feed
The Legal Satyricon 
Well said. I think the word “fat” is overused. Ms. Renn looks in shape to me, which I think is important to looking good. With that said, it seems like America’s increasing waistlines and the fight for the “natural” look are at odds. I’m always skeptical that the overweight and obese people embrace pieces like this and think that they’re fine. Finding that happy medium (ie, healthy) should be the ideal. Not the too skinny look that the entertainment world tends to push nor the overweight and obese world that America is becoming.
Number one, if Crystal Renn, in that (retouched or not?) photo is supposed to be emblematic of “fat chicks,” you’re playing with a stacked deck. You haven’t seen fat, and you’re not SHOWING fat — you’re showing a dark-haired and undoubtedly attractive version of Brigitte Bardot, widely seen as one of the most beautiful women of the 20th century. Renn may be a big girl by fucked-up contemporary haute-fashion standard, but I doubt that anyone sane would consider her fat. Hell, she’s not even Rubenesque.
Number two, “the American porn industry is saturated with Barbie dolls…” Rubbish. There is literally NO OTHER FIELD in the entertainment industry — movies, videogames, TV shows, mainstream magazines, and so on — where bodies show as much variety as they do in porn. Most general porn sites even have categories like “amateurs” or “fatties” or “mature” where the average female looks anything BUT Barbie-like. Or so I hear… ;-)
Number three, I’ll believe your exhortations to celebrate fat people’s confident sexuality when you can honestly say, and show in your art, that you adore confident fat guys too; somehow I get the impression that your comments are exclusive to sistahs everywhere, and that men with beer bellies need not apply. I’m willing to be proven wrong, of course.
Plus sized? I see her as slender.
Round me up a few confident fat guys and I’ll prove your fucking ass wrong. Problem is, fat people are often times so fucking beat up by the figurative weight of their literal weight – even “fat” size 12s can’t find their own beauty. If you saw Renn on the street in an oversized T-shirt and sweats, hair back in a pony tail, no make up, tugging the kids along with a Wal-Mart shopping cart, you’d ping her as fat so fuck you. That’s the typical American woman I see here and they hate the thin, sexy and attractive girls. This is exactly why large women get grouped into the fat catagory and as far as beer-bellied men, they get grouped into dumb-lazy ass. His ass crack shows out of his pants when he’s doing the plumbing work and struggles to position himself right to even fix the pipes under the sink. And she, hating her own body for a myrid of reasons, settles because she thinks she can’t do better. You know, normally I value your opinion but this time I think you’re way wrong. Get me men and I’ll get you proof. Otherwise, I’m in no mood to argue this point. I don’t think you understand the vantage point I’m trying to empower women from. This is where my feminine view outbeats your masculine one. You missed my point, Rogier.
Wait… You’re asking me — TWICE — to “round up” hot portly gentlemen FOR you, so you can prove that you’re not gender-biased when it comes to fat? I’m afraid you’re going to have to have to find sexy fat guys yourself, Tatiana — that’s kind of the POINT. If you can’t, I suspect there is indeed a double standard here. The proof of the pudding, and all that.
As far as your feminine view “outbeating” (?) my masculine one, we bring to the table what we bring to the table. If you really want to argue that the fact that I possess a penis invalidates my viewpoint on gender issues, or on this PARTICULAR gender issue, be my guest. I would note that while that may be acceptable reasoning in some feminist circles, those same ladies would surely and correctly deem it unacceptable if I reversed the sentiment — if I were to “argue” that that, in any matter at all, having a vagina means you ought to STFU. If there’s anything I hate, it’s double standards.
I would also note that responses that include the words “fuck you” tend not to be harbingers of an enlightening discussion ahead. That’s too bad, because I have often admired both your art and your intellect.
Schöne Grüße,
Rogier
Size 12 simply is not fat, unless you’re using the distorted standard of the fashion industry. By equating the woman pictured – a professional model, for heaven’s sake – with “fat”, you’re actually reinforcing the stereotype. If you really wanted to explore the question of size and self image, you could have looked at Leonard Nimoy’s Full Body Project: http://www.leonardnimoyphotography.com/7body.htm. And I think Rogier has a good point. I think you may be more taken in by the sales job that’s been done than you realize.
size 12 is just a number that could reflect a very tall skinny person with large boobs and hips or a very short person of great overall width. calling her fat because she is size 12 and 5’10” is twisting words to make a point.
You’re right that “looking hot takes some effort.” Part of that effort is, at a minimum, keeping the weight off. The vast majority of men simply aren’t attracted to overweight or obese women.
In other words, changing their attitudes won’t get women very far if they don’t bother to take care of themselves.
What you are not thinking about is what is considered fat according to the fashion industry. Models in the mags above size 2 are FAT. The size 12’s we love, the wives of us all, are fat. The XXX women are really fat but men with guts, those non gay men with hang over’s are just piss poor fat and do not take care to improve their image. But the women, it is like a double standard, your a perfect size nothing or fat as portayed by those wonderful ad agencies, magazines and porn producers.
Women in ad’s today, those size nothings are a gay male generate pre-teen image, shaven to look un-natural and women want to look it, men want to fuck it. Wow, harsh words, so fat women are sexy…a symbol of a real woman…
But for now, fat men have to keep working on their image, and maybe in time, someone will bring back the beer gut.
Pardon my mis-spelling, set from my butt crackberry
This isn’t a symmetric situation: men are judged by their $$$$, women more so by their looks (as evidence: check out the “how to spot a rich guy” photo. :)
So, the conventional wisdom is that women work toward the unattainable air brushed model look and the guys toward that big investment portfolio.
Of course, a quick look in public would seem to indicate that most people don’t play that game; there are plenty of fat women with husbands and plenty of poor guys with wives.
Realistically: yeah, my wife is fat, but she is what I have and, well, she looks pretty darned good to me! :)
Confidence in your look and style is all well and good, but it doesn’t help that clothing designers seem hell-bent on keeping “plus” sized clothing a mass of baggy, shapeless, unappealing garbage. I’ve been a plus model for a few years and I am still so discouraged whenever I try to go shopping for cute clothes for myself.
“If you saw Renn on the street in an oversized T-shirt and sweats, hair back in a pony tail, no make up, tugging the kids along with a Wal-Mart shopping cart, you’d ping her as fat so fuck you.”
Could you possibly speak for yourself, child, and leave me to my own tastes?
Speaking for myself, I do not see her as fat. I think this is a well posed picture.. but she’s most certainly not fat. There is a season of America’s Next Top Model where a TRUE plus size woman wins. Perhaps we could get her picture up here? -Sylvia
It has not happened yet that I’ve lost my cool with complete disrespect to someone online. It is one reason I chose to not hide behind an anonymous name. I am therefore, always responsible for my words.
I’ve apologized to Rogier, as I feel it was in order. At this time I stand by my choice of photo and slant to the hot fat chick though I thouroughly understand the reasoning behind the debate.
I am unable to provide a counter-argument momentarily as I’m too frustrated and angry about what I am witnessing and dealing with as an expat reintergrating into the American way of life.
When I get out of my angry state, I will properly respond and explain why I think the crux of my point was missed entirely. It could very well be that I just didn’t do a good enough job expressing my views and should that be the case, after I analyze this, I’ll make my point in another post rather than a response here. For now, I have little else to say other than “read it again” and stop focusing on the picture!
Tatiana – Very well put. People get really worked up about the issue of “fat” in America. I recently took a lot of heat for asking questions related to obesity health care.
i was reading through some of the comments posted here about fat men and fat women and i think that there is a culture of “happy” fat people and the stereotype of the “big tough” fat man, but very few encouragements for fat people to think of themselves (ourselves) as SEXY. sexy is for the skinny, the young, and more recently the over 80 crowd.
i really like your online galleries and appreciate that you cover the spectrum of women of so many shapes and sizes – from the angular au natural to the round and sumptuous largely lovely. it’s great that you are thinking about bodies and prsenting them in many ways.
What some people consider to be ‘fat’ never fails to astonish me – of course, most people’s opinions seem appalling in recent times anyway.
When a man is fat, he has man-boobs, fat rolls, and maybe a double chin. If a dude has a pot belly, he isn’t FAT. maybe chubby, you know, but not fat..
And it’s the same for women, in my opinion. There is no health souble-standard. If a girl has visible *flab* and a double chin, or maybe is covered with cellulite, then she is fat. If she has a bit of a muffin top, or maybe some chub, that definately does not qualify her as fat. It just makes her shapely – which is way more attractive than skinny, unlealthy girls. It is good for you to have some padding on your body. curves won’t kill anyone… ;)
This isn’t a response to anyone in particular, this is just me stating my mind.
Fat chicks are NOT hot, and no amount of sanctimonious posturing or blather will make it otherwise.