Wow… An intelligent argument against Porn

I have spent years — in fact all of my adult life — arguing with feminazis (NOT the same thing as a feminist) and religious zealots and everyone in between about adult entertainment. The religious nuts want us to believe that their imaginary friend doesn’t want us to have porn so that we won’t masturbate. I have news for them — if there is a God, he already experimented with beasts that couldn’t touch their genitals — the tyrannosauruses. It didn’t work out.

The feminazis… they are about as fit for this world as the tyrannosaurs.

Although this article is five years old, I’ve just now come across it. In it, Naomi Wolf makes the first intelligent, non-mind-controlling argument against adult entertainment. She doesn’t advocate a ban, but puts forth a worthy argument for choosing to eschew porn.

I’m not necessarily convinced that she is right, but I love her approach (and her writing).

The Porn Myth

In the end, porn doesn’t whet men’s appetites—it turns them off the real thing.

* By Naomi Wolf
* Published Oct 13, 2003

At a benefit the other night, I saw Andrea Dworkin, the anti-porn activist most famous in the eighties for her conviction that opening the floodgates of pornography would lead men to see real women in sexually debased ways. If we did not limit pornography, she argued—before Internet technology made that prospect a technical impossibility—most men would come to objectify women as they objectified porn stars, and treat them accordingly. In a kind of domino theory, she predicted, rape and other kinds of sexual mayhem would surely follow.

The feminist warrior looked gentle and almost frail. The world she had, Cassandra-like, warned us about so passionately was truly here: Porn is, as David Amsden says, the “wallpaper” of our lives now. So was she right or wrong?

She was right about the warning, wrong about the outcome. As she foretold, pornography did breach the dike that separated a marginal, adult, private pursuit from the mainstream public arena. The whole world, post-Internet, did become pornographized. Young men and women are indeed being taught what sex is, how it looks, what its etiquette and expectations are, by pornographic training—and this is having a huge effect on how they interact.

But the effect is not making men into raving beasts. On the contrary: The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as “porn-worthy.” Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention.

Here is what young women tell me on college campuses when the subject comes up: They can’t compete, and they know it. For how can a real woman—with pores and her own breasts and even sexual needs of her own (let alone with speech that goes beyond “More, more, you big stud!”)—possibly compete with a cybervision of perfection, downloadable and extinguishable at will, who comes, so to speak, utterly submissive and tailored to the consumer’s least specification?

For most of human history, erotic images have been reflections of, or celebrations of, or substitutes for, real naked women. For the first time in human history, the images’ power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today, real naked women are just bad porn.

For two decades, I have watched young women experience the continual “mission creep” of how pornography—and now Internet pornography—has lowered their sense of their own sexual value and their actual sexual value. When I came of age in the seventies, it was still pretty cool to be able to offer a young man the actual presence of a naked, willing young woman. There were more young men who wanted to be with naked women than there were naked women on the market. If there was nothing actively alarming about you, you could get a pretty enthusiastic response by just showing up. Your boyfriend may have seen Playboy, but hey, you could move, you were warm, you were real. Thirty years ago, simple lovemaking was considered erotic in the pornography that entered mainstream consciousness: When Behind the Green Door first opened, clumsy, earnest, missionary-position intercourse was still considered to be a huge turn-on.

Well, I am 40, and mine is the last female generation to experience that sense of sexual confidence and security in what we had to offer. Our younger sisters had to compete with video porn in the eighties and nineties, when intercourse was not hot enough. Now you have to offer—or flirtatiously suggest—the lesbian scene, the ejaculate-in-the-face scene. Being naked is not enough; you have to be buff, be tan with no tan lines, have the surgically hoisted breasts and the Brazilian bikini wax—just like porn stars. (In my gym, the 40-year-old women have adult pubic hair; the twentysomethings have all been trimmed and styled.) Pornography is addictive; the baseline gets ratcheted up. By the new millennium, a vagina—which, by the way, used to have a pretty high “exchange value,” as Marxist economists would say—wasn’t enough; it barely registered on the thrill scale. All mainstream porn—and certainly the Internet—made routine use of all available female orifices.

The porn loop is de rigueur, no longer outside the pale; starlets in tabloids boast of learning to strip from professionals; the “cool girls” go with guys to the strip clubs, and even ask for lap dances; college girls are expected to tease guys at keg parties with lesbian kisses à la Britney and Madonna.

But does all this sexual imagery in the air mean that sex has been liberated—or is it the case that the relationship between the multi-billion-dollar porn industry, compulsiveness, and sexual appetite has become like the relationship between agribusiness, processed foods, supersize portions, and obesity? If your appetite is stimulated and fed by poor-quality material, it takes more junk to fill you up. People are not closer because of porn but further apart; people are not more turned on in their daily lives but less so.

The young women who talk to me on campuses about the effect of pornography on their intimate lives speak of feeling that they can never measure up, that they can never ask for what they want; and that if they do not offer what porn offers, they cannot expect to hold a guy. The young men talk about what it is like to grow up learning about sex from porn, and how it is not helpful to them in trying to figure out how to be with a real woman. Mostly, when I ask about loneliness, a deep, sad silence descends on audiences of young men and young women alike. They know they are lonely together, even when conjoined, and that this imagery is a big part of that loneliness. What they don’t know is how to get out, how to find each other again erotically, face-to-face.

So Dworkin was right that pornography is compulsive, but she was wrong in thinking it would make men more rapacious. A whole generation of men are less able to connect erotically to women—and ultimately less libidinous.

The reason to turn off the porn might become, to thoughtful people, not a moral one but, in a way, a physical- and emotional-health one; you might want to rethink your constant access to porn in the same way that, if you want to be an athlete, you rethink your smoking. The evidence is in: Greater supply of the stimulant equals diminished capacity.

After all, pornography works in the most basic of ways on the brain: It is Pavlovian. An orgasm is one of the biggest reinforcers imaginable. If you associate orgasm with your wife, a kiss, a scent, a body, that is what, over time, will turn you on; if you open your focus to an endless stream of ever-more-transgressive images of cybersex slaves, that is what it will take to turn you on. The ubiquity of sexual images does not free eros but dilutes it.

Other cultures know this. I am not advocating a return to the days of hiding female sexuality, but I am noting that the power and charge of sex are maintained when there is some sacredness to it, when it is not on tap all the time. In many more traditional cultures, it is not prudery that leads them to discourage men from looking at pornography. It is, rather, because these cultures understand male sexuality and what it takes to keep men and women turned on to one another over time—to help men, in particular, to, as the Old Testament puts it, “rejoice with the wife of thy youth; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times.” These cultures urge men not to look at porn because they know that a powerful erotic bond between parents is a key element of a strong family.

And feminists have misunderstood many of these prohibitions.

I will never forget a visit I made to Ilana, an old friend who had become an Orthodox Jew in Jerusalem. When I saw her again, she had abandoned her jeans and T-shirts for long skirts and a head scarf. I could not get over it. Ilana has waist-length, wild and curly golden-blonde hair. “Can’t I even see your hair?” I asked, trying to find my old friend in there. “No,” she demurred quietly. “Only my husband,” she said with a calm sexual confidence, “ever gets to see my hair.”

When she showed me her little house in a settlement on a hill, and I saw the bedroom, draped in Middle Eastern embroideries, that she shares only with her husband—the kids are not allowed—the sexual intensity in the air was archaic, overwhelming. It was private. It was a feeling of erotic intensity deeper than any I have ever picked up between secular couples in the liberated West. And I thought: Our husbands see naked women all day—in Times Square if not on the Net. Her husband never even sees another woman’s hair.

She must feel, I thought, so hot.

Compare that steaminess with a conversation I had at Northwestern, after I had talked about the effect of porn on relationships. “Why have sex right away?” a boy with tousled hair and Bambi eyes was explaining. “Things are always a little tense and uncomfortable when you just start seeing someone,” he said. “I prefer to have sex right away just to get it over with. You know it’s going to happen anyway, and it gets rid of the tension.”

“Isn’t the tension kind of fun?” I asked. “Doesn’t that also get rid of the mystery?”

“Mystery?” He looked at me blankly. And then, without hesitating, he replied: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Sex has no mystery.” (source)

I have to say… given the opportunity to make the choice, I’d much rather get jiggy with Naomi Wolf than any porn starlet. How can a woman who writes like this not be incredible in bed?

49 Responses to Wow… An intelligent argument against Porn

  1. Randazza
    I just had to laugh at your last statement about the writer being incredible in bed. Interesting, how your mind works!

  2. blah blah blah says:

    True porn dilutes male female relations, but part of the problem is parents do not adequately prepare their sons to attract beautiful women….see Neil Strauss

  3. […] will note one example, Naomi Wolf makes a fabulous argument, reported on here. Essentially, she argues that over-sexualization of pop culture makes us have less fun in bed. You […]

  4. philnelson says:

    It’s a point I’ve heard made fairly often, of late, and only women seem to think it’s a “bad thing”. Less sexual power over men? Perish the thought!

    I find a parallel between this line of thinking and the current issues facing the movie and music industries. How do you create value in a marketplace where you cannot use the scarcity of the goods to drive up the price?

  5. Churchy girl says:

    Religion is a set of rules that people live their lives by. If by your standards a religious nut’s rule is that porn is ok and by your standards the rule is that porn is ok – Wouldn’nt that also make you a religious nut? I’m not sure what religious nuts you’re talking about but if it is christanity – the bible says nothing directly for or against masturbation – read it for yourself. it’s all just nuts!!!!

  6. Churchy girl says:

    ammendment to line two: religious nut believes the rule is that porn is not ok.

  7. Andy says:

    Lol, this is just strange. When I was a couple years younger, I would have loved all this pseudo-intellectual theorizing about sexuality. But now, i’m afraid not. Is this author actually saying with a staright face that men aren’t interested in having sex with real women anymore? I can’t think of many fundamentalist religious idiocy more idiotic than that.

    Basically, we’re all supposed to feel horrible that young women are psychologically weak. Why would a woman want to attract a man that isn’t interested in her? You should be thanking porn for exposing all the perverts, it’s not creating anything that isn’t already there. Men are dogs (primates actually), it’s just a question of how well individuals or societies can hide it (not just from women, but themselves as well).

    • mr.jerk says:

      hey asshole, you missed the whole point of the article. You stated
      “Basically, we’re all supposed to feel horrible that young women are psychologically weak. Why would a woman want to attract a man that isn’t interested in her?”
      Are you just pulling that out of thin air or out of your ass or something? the article doesn’t imply that at all.
      Fuck, dumb people…

    • gram says:

      Andy, I have to disagree. I am, and know others, a person whose life was negatively affected by porn in just this way. When sexual stimulation is so readily available, you don’t go out into the world to seek it. And by the definition of perversion, something can’t start out perverted. You can only have a basic unformed sexuality, which then becomes shaped by the world, and the person’s decisions.

  8. Andy says:

    Oh and also, Churchy Girl (lol), I believe the Bible has a line about how it’s better to have sex with a prostitute than to masturbate. Of course this is according to a Ron White comedy special.

  9. Is this author actually saying with a staright face that men aren’t interested in having sex with real women anymore? I can’t think of many fundamentalist religious idiocy more idiotic than that.

    I don’t think that is what she is saying at all. What she is saying (to put it really simply) is that in the absence of porn, the real thing is that much more fun.

  10. ATA says:

    I understand how porn exposes perverts, id argue it creates a generation of male perverts to which problematic individuals(perverts) are camouflaged.

  11. Maria says:

    the bible doesnt say anything against masturbation. but who can masturbate without images in their head? jesus does say that if a man even looks on a woman with lust he has commited adultery with her in his heart…so it kinda rules out masturbation…unless you’ll be thinking about your grandma’s cooking while you do it?

    • I like masturbating.

      • jesschristensen says:

        Me too.

        I think there’s one more point (wink to the fellas) that Naomi didn’t quite make — and that’s that most porn is a poor teacher. At least of men (and, I’d argue, women too). If you’ve spent much time watching porn, it’s notable that the male actor’s … range… is often quite limited. And, while the female actors do a good deal of moaning, the activity depicted isn’t usually representative of what’s actually required to generate genuine moans of that type.

        I think that sex is one of those areas that must be practiced, not simply appreciated, to be mastered.

  12. Lee says:

    Ironic how a woman writes something intelligent, and the first reaction is to turn her into a sex object. You are missing the point so badly. Porn isn’t wrong, a society that considers objectifying women to be the normal is what’s fucked up.

  13. heatherly says:

    Um, how about we just make better porn? If women take over the porn industry, we can make erotic art and film that advocates healthy fucking and sexuality, shows real people in real situations, and also explores unrealistic fantasies in a safe way. We can decide how we want our sexuality portrayed, without having to go around in a headscarf to make ourselves desirable to our husbands (jeeze). We can show men how we want to be fucked; how we want them to be. We can teach the next generation of young people (who are going to watch porn, yes they are) what’s *really* sexy.

    (note to those angered that the author thinks Naomi Wolf must be good in bed: this is not a bad thing! being sexually desirable is not bad! wanting to fuck someone is not bad! SEX IS NOT BAD!)

  14. richard sievert says:

    sure does says do not spill your seed’
    That means women to.
    I am not perfect what human is my point to this article is it’s one of the best well written arguments I have ever seen’ So take notice of this wise and true thing above’ After all it’s your lives at stake if your woman or man is not happy it’s probably because ether your doing it or she is.

  15. Michael W. says:

    I remember arguing with some raging (and I mean raging) Femnazis a couple of years ago about this same article and I’m afraid that my opinion of the matter hasn’t changed.

    1. Men prefer porn to real women: No, I have to wonder where exactly someone who was that into porn such that they prefered it to real flesh and blood would actually find women willing to fool around with them anyway.

    2. I wonder what college campus she was questioning women on, and specifically what exactly the questions she asked were (you can get any kind of answer with the right type of question) because on mine the general situation seemed to be more akin to “I have the pussy so I make the rules.”

    3. If she’d deigned to ask the average (adult) male on the same campus if he wants a woman who’s 90% plastic like she purports porn actresses to be I think she would have been surprised at the answers. Much the same as to how many of them would have cared about whether their potential partner was “trimmed and stylized” had tan lines or gave a rat’s ass about the “expectation” of teasing lesbian kisses and in particular this last one is the stupidest, while it gets attention it doesn’t occur that that is precisely the resaon they’re doing it? I notice the same women who did this regularly were also the same ones who ended up naked and being shuffled out of sight from the campus police at some point and the reasons for doing both were the same Attention. Now I can’t speak for every man obviously but while I can understand the fun in two women being together (hey, it’s two naked women..) I can’t fathom why I would “expect” that sort of behavior from someone I’m with because I can’t imagine why I would think it was a boon to be chasing women when they were all chasing each other.
    If she legitimately asked college women questions that weren’t loaded to get these answers what purpose does that serve when her argument through the rest of the article is that men are the ones with no interest because of porn; not that women perceive men to have no interest because of it. It might sound obnoxious but even if she did get answers of the sort from the women she questioned, men are ultimately not responsible for their state of mind.

    4. I wonder why there is nothing mentioned about the position of authority women hold within the porn industry, or the fact that (gasp) women have been known to watch it as well. Honestly I knew a woman who had over one hundred dvds and was proud of it and to be frank if she believed what Ms. Wolf contends she’d have had absolutely no need of any of it.

    I must admit to the posters’ comment thought that this is well written but I would argue that it only “seems” intelligent because it’s specious at best in my opinon. Your thoughts?

    • jesschristensen says:

      I do (personally) think Naomi Wolf’s piece is well written – both cuz she just writes well, and because she captures one of the many valid perspectives out there about what roles porn plays in our culture.

      When I was in college (and since then), I have most definitely run into a few men who expected all sexual encounters to be just like what they see in porn, and expected me to be just like a porn actress. And, I don’t mean, just for some fun role playing, but… as the only sexual paradigm that they understood.

      But, that’s not really about porn; that’s about being young and not having much experience, so that porn is the primary frame of reference. And, for the (small) percentage of men and women who never grow out of that paradigm, it’s about simply not being a very creative person, or about not being a very well adjusted person socially and sexually, who for whatever reasons can’t mature into a more well-rounded sexual self. For most people, that doesn’t happen until after the college years.

      It seems to me that Naomi’s larger point was about how 24/7 access to porn puts sex “on tap” in our culture in a way that sex loses some of its mystery and intrigue, and that the loss of sexual mystery makes sex less interesting, and it makes real women less interesting to men.

      I think that’s one of those statements that is both true and not true at the same time. On the one hand, if you’re talking about college age men who’s only real exposure to naked women is in porn or at the strip club, then yes, they can develop sexual expectations that “real women” don’t fit into. On the other hand, the prevalence of porn and women’s participation in it has allowed many, many women to break free from more puritanical female sexual roles and to become more sexually and erotically adventurous themselves, for their own satisfaction.

      So, I don’t agree that her point was specious. Just, incomplete. Sex, like…ice cream… comes in many flavors. “Standard” porn is a little like having only vanilla and chocolate. When you’re young, you’ve only tried one or two flavors, usually the most available ones. I think most people mature and discover that there’s a whole world of flavor out there, and are adventurous enough to try at least a few more (if not a lot more). Some of those flavors are less obvious, more subtle, and involve more mystery. For the sad few who never get past vanilla and chocolate… bummer for them.

      For me, none of that is an argument against porn. I think it’s an argument in favor of making more interesting porn, that comes in more flavors.

  16. richard sievert says:

    I need to ree asses whats been said on porn’ If free porn can destroy the vast pay scams and books and videos out there by giving it free than I am all for it” ‘See just as the horse, disappeared to the car, so will this if it’s continued to be giving instead of sold see people will get it where they can for free and push the sellers away just like legalizing drugs’ the same thing only a much greater problem’ a cookie for the wise the fool hearted will not even understand what i just said’

  17. Javi Medni says:

    Porn is just movies and pictures with an intent to sell. Just as commercials or hollywood blockbusters, it`s not real but it has a targeted audience.

    I doubt that educated people could ignore this, I used to watch so much porn for a while, of different kinds and it gets old eventually, and plain boring, there is absolutely no way that it could affect my life as much as the real sexual needs of a relationship would. I can see much bigger issues that affect the way people interact than porn will ever do.

    Come on people, wake up.

  18. little 3 says:

    personally i think porn is disgusting it could be because im only 19 or because it makes me feel lousy in comparison to the fake girls on the tv screen… honestly though if a man has a woman at home who is willing to have sex with them whenever they want it like in my relationship then why do they need porn? I dont understand it my man still wants to watch porn all the time i mean HELLO im right here… any suggestions as to why men do this?

    • Well saying “porn is disgusting” is like saying “comedies are disgusting.” There is a whole broad spectrum of kinds of porn. I’m sure that there’s something for you out there, you just haven’t found it yet.

  19. Dynamic says:

    The feminazis… they are about as fit for this world as the tyrannosaurs.

    Well,the Meninazis who love degrading porn are about as fit for this world as the tyrannosaurs also.

  20. sam says:

    Please stop everyone and really listen,especially men!!This is how it is for most women,not all but the vast majority,now listen…..it deeply hurts women when we find our men watching porn,porn stars most of the time look farrrrrrrr more attractive and desirable than your average women and it hurts us when our man is getting sexually turned on and having orgasms over those images,it is just as real and a natural part of being a women to feel this shame as porn is supposed to be just as natural and normal for men yet it will be women who will have to learn to deal with the pain and get over it because it is so normal and natural for men,if this is so why do women feel so wounded and ashamed by it and why are men refusing to get this!!

    • porn stars most of the time look farrrrrrrr more attractive and desirable than your average women and it hurts us when our man is getting sexually turned on and having orgasms over those images

      Then go to the gym. Jesus, fuck off… you sound like you’re pissed off just because you’re ugly.

      • hey says:

        no, because when i was a fit, 110 lb, 19-year old girl who was trying to fit to her 25 yr-old boyfriend’s ideas about what sex should be like (which i realize now had been mostly informed by porn), I completely lost myself, my identity, and my intelligence starving myself and putting on outrageously stupid ‘sexy’ outfits. And at 120 lbs now I am not considered fat, but average, and thank god I can now actually focus on doing something useful with my life.

        The current question for high school girls these days: is it better to be superskinny and do whatever over-‘sexy’, ultra-stimulated action your boyfriend wants, or actually see clearly what is important and actually enjoy life? Dude, tickling each other and chilling out and missionary-style sex is pretty fun as it is.

        • erichK says:

          I doubt that most of the people who produce pornography really care whether their consumers are eight years old or eighty. It is, as renowned author Linda McQuaig points out, perhaps the only major industry that really does represent truly unfettered capitalism.

          As such, it is always looking for new markets and seeking to develop repeat customers.

          • Actually, they do. It doesn’t take a lot of intelligence to figure that out. How much money does an 8 year old have? Not enough to buy porn.

            • erichK says:

              Why do you think that the cigarette and alcohol (coolers. etc.) actually covertly market to underage clients? It is to create habits when potential future addicts are as impressionable as possible. Why do you think that there is so much, easily accessible free porn?
              Again, to try to create an appetite, and if possible, an eventual addiction.

  21. sam says:

    Another thing ,I feel that it as actually cowardly that many of the men of this world are putting women in a position where we will have to accept pornography as a normal part of manhood and if you actually bother to make a real effort to find out or observe you will find that a lot of those women who say they don’t mind porn are lying in order to please their men or somehow try and deal with the shame and pain,so what will it be, your natural need for porn or protecting your wives,girlfriends,daughters,sisters,mothers etc from the hell we go through in trying to deal with pornography interrupting and hurting not enhancing our lives!!
    No I am not speaking for all women,I know deep in my heart that I am speaking out as loudly as I can for a hell of a lot of women!!
    Their are few men who will turn their backs however wether you like it or not women on some level wether they no it or not will know these men to be what we call REAL MEN

  22. sam says:

    Yes I’m angry so here I go again…. Im fed up with all the shit excuses out there re accepting porn,men will be men,men a visual creatures etc etc etc,boring,cowardly,weak,lame .I know for one that most of my girlfriends and I are very visual and find certain parts of the mans physique in and out of clothes a turn on especially when we allow our imaginations to run wild after having a look.Any way I have a question.Why is there more and more porn of younger and younger women or girls in pornography and women need to get over it and accept that it is normal for men to be sexually attracted to little girls and they are little girls or very very young women so no bullshit excuses please.Yes all females are attractive to men but is it really so important to your jacking off to keep the promotion of our little girls as sexual objects for the satisfaction of men and their need to masturbate to porn,don’t you want to protect them,allow them their innocence for just a little longer.
    do men ever ask themselves where these young women come from,of course they do but they don’t care because the orgasm they get from the visual stimulation is so much more important!!
    Does it ever occur to men that pornography is more likely to be a huge money making machine making some people extremely rich at the expense of others and the majority of men have been sucked into it and the same vampires are sucking our young boys and teenagers into that machine with the help of their own fathers.

    • yourfriendwhoissmarterthanyou says:

      Boys will be boys. Stop perpetuating this ridiculous saying that allows men to take zero responsibility for their actions. ‘Oh little Billy beat his puppy to death with a rock. Oh well, boys will be boys!’ ‘Carl watched a movie that told him having sex with little girls was okay and then raped his neighbours four year old daughter. Oh well, boys will be boys!’ You, are, an idiot.

  23. Dr. Zoidberg says:

    With all respect to Naomi Wolf, her entire argument is based on the false assumption that humans are meant to be monogamous. For 95% of our existence we lived in multi-partner arrangments, having sex with numerous people at once. Agriculture turned women into property and all these power and jealousy problems began. If we as a society recognized this and stopped forcing men and women through Puritanical and Victorian cultural standards to pair off, never to have sex with anybody ever again, people would be having more sex and actually happy. Porn wouldn’t be an issue.

    • Briana says:

      I’ve actually been thinking about this quite a bit lately and tend to agree with your statement. In general, people weren’t meant to be monogamous, so therefore I would think a majority of people shouldn’t be. I mean, of course there are people that enjoy monogamy, both men and women, and it suits them. But many are unsatisfied with it, and would enjoy and benefit from open relationships or casual sex more I think. There wouldn’t even be a need for porn if people would just accpet this fact and live a life defined by their own ideas, not those of convention. By putting the idea in peoples heads that we must be monogamous, it leaves people with little other options and they wind up unhappy. I think people should be more upfront and honest with their intentions, not hide behind a monogamous facade if that’s not what they really want. Although, it does pose a problem when dealing with family. When you finally have children, I think it would be odd or difficult to be in a non-exclusive relationship.

    • Dr.R says:

      With all respect to Dr. Zoidberg, I see no where in Naomi Wolf’s argument where she assumes humans are meant to be anything, monogaomous or otherwise. By the way, human beings are not programmed one way over the other. We are actually programmed for both, monogamy and polygamy. That is why it comes down to our personal choice. Because there are benefits in both monogamy and polygamy. Further, men turned women into property and land and money came into play with that as well. Lastly, I see nothing in Wolf’s argument that has anything to do with Victorian views. It’s about current culture and how porn affects us and culture. There is a huge difference between Victorian views and an industry that makes it’s money of objectifying women.

  24. sam says:

    Im a bikini model, with breasts and a vagina to die for,today I made $2000 and Naomi is right,in my experience it is not fun in bed with men anymore,there is something strange about the way porn heads fuck,they may know all the moves but there is something missing also I find it difficult to become intimate juicy and wet when I know my man has been jacking off to porn stars because yes I get jealous and what turns me off even more is I know as most women know that porn heads end up taking a liking to little girls or teens and you expect us to accept it,yuk!but really your jacking off to computers,weird! and images of women you cant even get or would have no interest in you anyway!I dumped my porn head bimbo boyfriend,he couldn’t handle me,my hotness and horniness and he didn’t care that his habit was hurting my feelings because I was comparing myself to those images, now I have a new boyfriend,has been a year and what a man!! He wouldn’t dream of hurting me over some computer generated images which makes me want to suck him fuck him and everything else all of the time. I have taken an interest in the subject because the bad effect that it has had on me and my relationships is still with me and I believe that if not handled correctly by the powers to be and individuals it will be like alcohol and play a very big part in destroying the fabric of society basically what that comes down to when you think about is esteem,consideration,respect etc.People like marcorandazza are already consumed and sucked into the machine and will forever defend there need to jack off to computers and anyone that is disturbed by it can fuck off,a typical addict attitude.
    Dr zoidberg just out of interest do you have multi partners?As it is most of society is incapable of that kind of life style,I think my boyfriend would be very upset if I wanted to fuck that man over there because he looks like he has a massive cock,he probably would be if I was spending hours watching massive cocks on my laptop as well.People do get jealous and our emotions do affect our lives and e is reasons other than

  25. sam says:

    woops, and porn is an issue a BIG issue and that is not going to change in a hurry or go back to when sex wasn’t an issue if that was the case,maybe there is an innate reason for partnering off however that partnering is not meant to be for a life time so in the meantime porn is creating problems in and out of relationships there is plenty plenty evidence for that.

  26. sam says:

    By the way marcjakka what is ugly? seems you are very upset by ugliness,Is ugly not in your porn stash or porn mind? Are people who don’t go to the gym ugly?

  27. european says:

    YOU MUST BE ONEOFTHESE PATRINAZIS I HEAR SO MUCH ABOUT

  28. erichK says:

    Many years ago, I dared to ask Professor Thelma McCormack, my prof in a Ph.D. course on Communications at Toronto’s York University, why porn was so powerful and so addictive. (Thelma authored important articles and testified at Canadian high court trials on porn.) Her answer was simple: it is a direct, unmediated stimulus to our arousal centres.

    In other words, there is no need to communicate or negotiate with another human being to simply get an erection and get one’s rocks off ( and, I suppose, do essentially the same thing for the very small, but criminally significant proportion of women whose behaviours are apparently similarly patterned.

    There are other such agents in other areas: Crack cocaine or Chrystal meth may be somewhat similar. As with addictive drugs, the ways in which and the degrees to which pornography affects its consumers likely vary greatly according with individual personalities and psyches. Never-theles, while there are – as in the case of drugs, too – many compelling arguments against the banning of pornography, it is hard to think of a single good one for encouraging its distribution and use.

  29. Stella says:

    I hate porno! Such a waste of time… there is a lot of excuses about freedom, feminism, bla, bla, bla… I would care less about feminism anyway but latetly children have being pushed to this money making market and that it’s not right. If someone tells me that is right, or that they are just in the limit of 18 (lol… ) I will say that person is a sick bastard and needs help, a lot of help. What I see it’s human traffic and children being exploited for pornographic purposes… just end the damm thing… it doesn’t work… instead reinvent something where we can use our brain instead, feelings… being human you know? Otherwise just make your own movie with a rubber doll and stop insulting mankind. Thank you.

  30. Blue Ghost says:

    Excellent article. I’ve always been uncomfortable with porn because of the potential it had to slam the door on erotic encounters and intimacy. A man can enjoy the content, but then his cravings are satisfied leaving him not desiring a woman. For me, things are a little different. I’m attracted to all kinds of women. I think this article holds truth for young men and women, not so much for the older generation.

  31. Dylana Vortex says:

    This quote from Hesse, for me, conveys one of the major reasons why porn degrades character: “There’s no reality except the one contained within us. That’s why so many people live an unreal life. They take images outside them for reality and never allow the world within them to assert itself.” Porn lowers the consumer to a subhuman level. None of these women he watches actually gave consumer X permission. Further, he does not experience the real sensations of sex with a women – the touch, the reciprocity, the spirituality and so on – so the sexual act is lowered to something analogous with junk food; it satisfies the brain, but not the spirit/character. [To clarify, I do not at all mean this in a religious way]. This is also bad for society as a whole because the way porn lowers us to a subhuman level is just one facet of a general trend: cheap, empty consumption feels good and is okay, no matter the “obscure”, “distant” consequences. Poison in our food and water, exploitation of third world countries, the destruction of our planet and so on are consequences putting quick pleasure and powerful entities’ profits above human beings, consequences of ignoring of the moral fabric that composes humanity. Porn dehumanizes by ignoring the astounding potential of man. Tantric sex is just one example of higher states of being and untapped potentials that are lost on those stuck in lower, “old” brain circuits of sexual capacity.
    Another point everyone on here seems to miss is that many consumers of porn are indeed women. Porn creates riffs, lack of trust, lack of respect and in some cases less actual real sex between couples.
    I am 23 and can identify exactly with what the author is saying. I’ve had three serious boyfriends in hte past who all watched porn almost daily, saving two or three days a week for sex with me. This was hurtful to me because I would honestly like and prefer to have sex with the person I love almost every day of the week. This is not a beauty issue. Also, these boyfriends were all good men; they had just been conditioned to go for porn, pavlovian style.

  32. erichK says:

    Pornography has become a multi-billion dollar industry whose filthy underbelly includes the human-trafficking that has been documented by Amnesty International and the UN. Most reports on it “actors” tend to indicate that it is neither a happy nor a healthy career for them (ironically, if we are talking of the non-trafficked ones, that is especially true of the males involved).

    While there are branches and aspects of it that may seem harmless, even liberating – amateur porn, real sex sites – the prevailing drift and pressure is always

    1. to more extreme practices and images. By extreme I mean physically and psychologically risky practices,

    2. to images and narratives that appeal to and reinforce even the very crudest racial and sexual stereotypes and prejudices,

    3. to the increasing commodification -that is, the transformation of sex into an item of commerce- rather than a voluntary interaction between consenting human beings.

    The proponents of pornography should reflect a little more deeply on just how much of what is most individual and personal to themselves and those dear to them that they are prepared to broadcast to the world and buy and sell. There is, after all, a thriving underground market in human organs, too. Should everything be for sale?

  33. John Tennant says:

    The biggest two problems I have with the article is the simplistic definition of porn she’s working with and the focus on University campuses as the source of research.

    Porn is a lot more versatile than is given credit for in the article. So she’s really doing nothing to address porn that falls outside of this scope. For instance, is there anything wrong with rubbing one out watching two people get in on in plain old missionary style? The question is loaded, of course and only leads to more questions. My point is that from her descriptions, Klein seems to have watched about 2-3 minutes of College Party Girls Gone Lesbo #6 and now thinks she knows why all porn is bad.

    The last time I checked, there is a world off-campus. Asking what early twenty year olds think about their sex situation is like asking someone in flight school what it’s like to do a barrel roll. They don’t even know how to fly the plane! Of course they’re influenced by everything out there. But that doesn’t make them ruined for life. The world (especially Universities) will always be full of people who think they need to be someone they aren’t to fit in. The same is true in the bedroom.

    Good parenting, people. Teach your kids self-respect and they won’t end up trying to be the porn-stars they see on the screen–because they’ll find out what THEY want for themselves.

    • tony says:

      BS. Good parenting can prevent this? Our 8 yr old son stumbled on porn although I had paid for filters on my iPhone through ATT but they neglected to tell me the filters don’t work when using WiFi. Crazy. He typed in an innocent search on YouTube then saw a lot before bringing me the phone. I was mortified. It was two men anal. Like my kid needs that to be the first idea of sex he experiences. I have very open communication w my kids and talked to him about it. I assumed this Wld b the end of it. BUT it sparked his interest and he has attempted to search for more. I tt him again n again. He seems to get that its wrong but turns around and does it again. I hav filters on all our computers but he is older now and friends at school don’t. My problem with porn is how easy it is to access. Pop ups and emails. All soliciting porn. If I’m looking for it then fine but it shldnt be looking for me.

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