Looks like I picked the wrong time to leave Florida!

December 8, 2012

Python hunting contest in the Everglades! (source)

I told you that Florida was backward…

September 19, 2012

I frequently write about how my former home state of Flori-duh is backward. Well finally, someone agrees with me. Meet Carlos Romero, 31, charged with (oh shit) “sexual activity involving an animal.”

According to Local 10, a man spotted Romero “doing sexual acts with his miniature female donkey.”

According to the article, Romero didn’t seem shy about his actions. He allegedly told deputies that he “performed sex acts” with the donkey 5 or 6 times, and that, “Florida is a backwards state and people frown on zoophilia here.”

More Book Banning.

May 11, 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey, currently number one on the New York Times Best Seller list, is a charming story about a college graduate, her billionaire boyfriend, and their sex life. It’s labeled as erotic fiction, but it sounds more like porn for housewives. It was apparently developed from a work of Twilight fan fiction under the author’s penname (I shit you not) “Snowqueen’s Icedragon”. That should tell you everything. I have no plans to read it.

But, in the continuing crusade to protect…someone…from reading about any kind of sexual encounter beyond “with the lights off and through a hole in the sheet just to make a baby”, Brevard County, Florida banned the book from its public libraries. Source.

When asked why the Kama Sutra, Lolita, and the Tropic of Cancer are still permitted to remain on the shelves, Cathy Schweinsberg, the library services director pointed out that those books became classics because of the quality of the writing. I can’t argue with her on that, I suppose. Fifty Shades of Gray apparently has plot and character development that wouldn’t fill a teaspoon. But do we really want people like Ms. Schweinsberg telling us what is appropriate to read and what isn’t? Removing this book from the shelves of the public library is just flat out wrong.

The real struggle I’m having with this is not defending the stupid book or the willingness to join the crusade to keep it from being banned. No, I’m struggling because of the moral quandary I’m having in deciding whether to permit it to grace my personal banned books library. Technically, it’s been banned, so it should be there, but…..yeesh. Please, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t ever let them ban Twilight.

Orlando Beats Out Sin City for Title of Smuttiest City in America

May 7, 2012

…According to Men’s Health Magazine.  (source.)

Florida takes honors as the “Most Salacious State,” with five cities ranked in the top 60.

Crazy, meet Racists. Racists, meet Crazy.

April 24, 2012

Man skipped in line allegedly beats McDonald’s manager with bat | www.wftv.com.


Come for the workers’ compensation story, stay for the racist commentary.

Seems like some guy has been reading the Consumerist too much and decided that the executive e-mail carpet bomb was insufficient.  So, he registered his complaint with management with a baseball bat.  Legal stuff: while I know MA law better than FL, generally, he can collect workers’ comp, and file a third-party suit against the customer.  Maybe a products liability claim against Louisville Slugger??  Oh, and the comp carrier would have subrogation rights in any third party recovery.  No suit against McDonald’s or the co-worker, due to the century old trade-off.

Anyhow, I thought that would be the end of the story when I read it.  Then, I read the commentary.  Whole lotta racism.

Before it gets removed (parts have been already):


Di. Ver. Si. Ty.

FaceTheFacts420, Yep, it’s all black people. Unless you count the white guy who was caught on video ransacking a business, the white girl who robbed a store to get money for her drug habit, and the pot smoking inbred who spends his days on multiple websites posting “diversity” comments. Get your head out of your azz and get a job.

White men can’t jump. Negros can’t shoot.

Posted by coonhunter at

Got to 365black.com and see who Mcdonalds is after. The dollar menu was invented for the blacks so they can feed their kids.

When will we stop pretending that these savage pavement apes are HUMANS just like us? Enough to make you want to go all Zimmerman!

Marc, I’m betting you’re glad you left Florida.

Drinking, Large Breasts, and the Law

April 19, 2012

PSL woman Maureen Raymond says her ‘big breasts’ hindered her DUI test performance, affidavit states.

While one might think think I posted this article for the prurient interest, it is actually because of a statement in the article that annoyed me.  I quote:

It wasn’t clear whether large breasts could be cited as part of a DUI case defense or whether case law supports such a contention.

Okay, Will Greenlee from Scripps, why did you feel the need to include this masterful insight?  It wasn’t clear to whom, to you?  How much research did you do to check?  What is the purpose of this statement?  While Marc is a Florida licensed attorney and I am not, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that this is not something one needs to cite as a formal defense or rely upon case law to contend.

Rather, this is a question of fact as to whether she had a reasonable basis to refuse or otherwise fail at a field sobriety test.  I think it would have been better for her to try, and fail, rather than refuse, unless there was some medical reason why an attempt would be medically ill advised (e.g. pain).  At trial, she may need to introduce biomechanical expert evidence to provide the opinion that large breasts interfere with the ability to perform FSTs, and that could be subject to a Daubert-type challenge.  But Daubert (and state analogs) only speaks to the method by which scientific theory and evidence is admissible, not whether a particular theory is admissible.  It is not a “large breast” defense, it is an “inability to perform FST” defense.  It is a question of fact, not a question of law, so, typically no case law is warranted (unless there is a judicial notice issue, but I will avoid commenting on judicial notice of large breasts).

Journalist, stick to the story and stay out of the law.  You only embarass yourself.

How much for a blowjob in a Florida trailer park?

March 5, 2012

Usually about twenty bucks according to the Palm Beach Sheriff’s Office.