We are doomed

If the Mayans were wrong, maybe we should make them right. Here’s why:

A civilization that produces this does not deserve to make it to December 13.

12 Responses to We are doomed

  1. The best part is when he wins.

  2. shg says:

    I’m pretty sure the Mayans pegged it at 12/21, not 12/12. I believe today is the zombie apocalypse, which explains the physical appearance of my old pal, Judith.

  3. dan says:

    I don’t know what the fuss is about? I just went to my closest Mayan grocery store and picked up a new calendar at the cash. It was free, just like the calendars are at grocery stores and pharmacies.

  4. jdgalt says:

    And here I thought you were beyond all hope. We’ll make a conservative out of you yet. ;-D

  5. Jordan Lewis says:

    I love the part where the Plaitiff tells the judge, “No, it’s not dismissed because…”
    That always works well.

  6. CPlatt says:

    I like it when he rubs his nose with his hand. No one ever told him not to do that while he’s talking to someone. Somehow to me that one gesture says it all–a complete indictment of his parenting, his education, and the social engineering that was dedicated to helping him in every possible way, regardless of what he might do in return.

  7. Lizard says:

    My wife and her mother are hardcore Judy addicts. I find myself getting sucked in sometimes as I walk by. The endless parade of people even *I* can look down on certainly has its appeal.

    I especially love the ones who, confronted with the fact they knew something was wrong, but did it anyway, seem to think “But I wanted/needed it!” is a justification.

    Judy: So he told you not to take the truck.
    Defendant: Yes.
    Judy: But you did take the truck.
    Defendant: Yes, but it’s OK, I had to move my mattress.
    Judy; He didn’t give you permission to take the truck!
    Defendant: Yeah, but I had to move my mattress!

    (In this particular case, Judy ending up ruling, I think the legal term is, “duo imbicelicus”, or “You’re both idiots!”)

    My all-time favorite, though, was this:
    Judy: So you were arrested for driving drunk, and driving without a license.
    Defendant: Yeah, but I shouldn’t have been. It was my birthday!

    (I am quoting from memory, and also correcting the defendant’s dubious grammar.)

    I admit to not being a lawyer, but I am unfamiliar with the “birthday exemption” to traffic laws. Perhaps someone more versed with the relevant statutes could help me out.

    • Ancel De Lambert says:

      I believe he was trying to state that he should have been chauffeured around by his friends, because it was his birthday. Also known as the “I’m a pretty princess” defense.

  8. Anybody know where this guy goes to school? $22,000 isn’t going to get you an Ivy League education, but you still have to wonder how he got money to attend a four-year college when he appears so clueless. You also have to wonder if he understands the difference between grants and loans. $22,000 schools aren’t offering a lot of free rides.

    As far as the county’s “stipend,” it might be money well-spent if he puts down roots in some other county and impregnates women somewhere else.

    • Oh, no you don’t! You guys cooked him, you paid for him (hell, he gets more for doing less than I do, and I’m on a pension), you get to keep him.

      You let his roots go down your drains, not anyone else’s! :D

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