Holy. Fucking. Shit.

In 2000, we (apparently) decided as a nation that it might be a good idea to elect a dumb-as-fuck redneck who wanted to turn America into a theocracy.  Meh, it did not exactly work out that well.  

But hey, why not just give it another try?  I mean, there’s no better qualification to be President than a folksy “I just fucked my cousin” accent along with some overly dramatic music in the background and a little gay bashing.  

Honestly, if you vote for this guy, you should be forcibly sterilized.  So should everyone who is related to you.  And anyone who does not hate you should be sterilized too.  

12 Responses to Holy. Fucking. Shit.

  1. Alpha says:

    First, I’d like to say that Perry gives me the heeby jeebies and I’d never vote for him.

    However, I don’t think its fair to say he’s being anti-gay, insomuch as he’s just a dumbass who is shit at making a valid point.

    Playing the devil’s advocate here (lol), I raise that his point is actually, “Homosexual marriage is offensive to Christians, but no one cares about that. Prayer in school is offensive to non-christians, everyone cares about that. Why the double standard?”

    And being as Judeo-Christian ideologies and world views hold the majority of people in this nation, why do we cater to the minority?

    That is probably more accurately his point.

    However – I would not vote for him because his foreign policy is shit and he’s hoping to get elected based on his accent. He would be an awful president.

    • Skip Intro says:

      “Prayer in school is offensive to non-christians, everyone cares about that. Why the double standard?”

      There is no double standard. Anyone can pray in any school at any time. Government-led prayer is forbidden.

    • Zero says:

      Actually, “forced prayer” in school is offensive to non-Christians, not just prayer. There’s quite a big difference. And the reason why everyone cares, and it’s not a double-standard, is because the constitution specifically forbids the government to promote one religion over another. Having a public school force students to pray for a specific religion would be the government promoting that religion, and thus antithetical to the basis of the country. No one will stop little Johnny from praying if he wants to. Notice, the entire argument for why prayer should be enforced is religious in nature, nothing else.

      The reason why no one cares about homosexual marriage being offensive to Christians is because we are not a theocracy. Law and policy is not decided by religious values. Therefore unless they can come up with a valid logical reason why the rights of millions of people should be sacrificed to avoid “offending” Christians, there’s no reason to care about their objections. Notice again, the entire argument for why homosexual marriage is wrong is religious in nature.

      Basically, his point is shit.

      • Alpha says:

        I agree with you on a lot of points, save this one:

        because the constitution specifically forbids the government to promote one religion over another

        The constitution specifically forbids the government making laws that infringe on the rights of religious institutions – it says nothing that forbids the government from promoting a single religion.

        IE – The government can say we’re a Christian Nation, but they cannot stop Muslims and Jews from practicing their religion because it isn’t Christian. The government can promote a religion, they cannot deny the right to practice a non-promoted religion.

        I’ll even let you look it up. You’re going to want to start around the second amendment.

        • Zero says:

          Actually, the precise wording is that they cannot make laws “respecting an establishment of religion”. This does not simply mean that the government cannot set up a national church that all must be part of.

          How many people would look at the First amendment and think that it would be constitutional for the government to financially fund the houses of worship for one religion but refuse to fund any other? You may argue that they can “promote” the religion, but not financially, but what would be the difference legally? In both cases the government is promoting a religion, I doubt anyone’s interpretation of the constitution would allow the government to fund, say, just Jews, but every other religion would have to fend for themselves.

          This site says it better than I can: http://atheism.about.com/od/churchstatemyths/a/nationalchurch.htm

  2. Chad Daring says:

    My dad is a Republican who voted for Bush and even he hates Rick Perry

    • Alpha says:

      I’m an ultra-conservative right-wing nut job who wrote GW an apology letter after obama got elected, and I fucking hate Rick Perry.

  3. alexis says:

    I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian. I also not ashamed to admit that I’m a big fan of the establishment clause. I don’t want some two-bit hack in the public school system mismanaging my (future, God willing) children’s religious education.

    And I’m sure I’m not the only one to notice that Rick Perry is wearing the same jacket as one of the two main characters featured on the cover of “Brokeback Mountain.”

    You don’t have to be in a pew every Sunday to know that Jesus Christ spent a lot of his time being nice to people who everyone else treated poorly. He preached about mercy, charity, and basic human decency. Because that’s how he rolled.

    Rick Perry? No, thank you.

  4. Mandy says:

    I will never understand Christians who think the best way to promote or adhere to their religion is to force it on other people. Christ didn’t, when he was on the earth. These are also generally the people who support the War on Terror and the invasion of any country run by Muslims. But set up a theocracy at home? Awesome idea! I am a Christian and don’t want prayer in schools for many reasons – it’s anti-Christian to impose your beliefs on others; it’s a violation of our Constitution (the 1st Amendment has 2 religion clauses – Free Exercise and Establishment); and I don’t agree with a lot of what other Christians think so I wouldn’t want them warping my children’s minds with their bigoted views.
    And @ Alpha – he is being anti-homosexual. What else could he be when his chief point is “oh, society’s going down the crapper because gays can serve in the military”?

  5. Walt K says:

    Did he really need to let us know that he approved that message?

  6. Kasey says:

    I think the best part about this video is that the background music was composed by a gay jew named Aaron Copeland.

  7. Jordan says:

    Marc, I’m late to the party, but this parody was one of the best things I’ve seen all year:

    Too funny.

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