By J. DeVoy
I previously extolled the virtues of zinc for lawyers on this blog, and those who began using it after that post have all agreed that it was an excellent addition to their routine. Since then, I’ve been tinkering in the lab with more life-enhancing supplements. My regimen is not as exhaustive as this one promoted by Crime & Federalism, but it works for me and should help others as well:
-Apple Cider Vinegar. Every morning, take two tablespoons of the stuff. Don’t buy the pasteurized Heinz vinegar – go to whole foods and get the murky unpasteurized kind. The mother of vinegar contains most of the good stuff for you, and it burns less on the way down than something that’s been refined into a cleaning agent.
The science on Apple Cider Vinegar is mixed at best, and generally inconclusive. Even if its used solely for a placebo effect, it’s a pretty good one. My hair is naturally shinier now, and since I’ve been using ACV every morning, my subcutaneous fat – the hard-to-hit trace amounts that I no longer have infinite time to run off each week – has been melting away. Some claim that ACV is an appetite suppressant. I say: No shit. For about 4-6 hours after taking a shot of vinegar, eating anything is pretty far from your mind. For how much $5.00 buys, it’s worth trying.
-Vitamin D. I can’t point to a specific benefit here, since I began using it with Zinc, but before the ACV. There is, however, an observed link between Vitamin D, sunlight and mood. For people with Seasonal Affective Disorder, the lack of sunlight is particularly significant. Vitamin D should help keep the sun-deprived – a population that likely contains many lawyers – on an even keel.
-Nitrous Oxide. I started using this powder as a pre-workout supplement to wake me up and bring purpose to my actions without getting wired on coffee. On particularly hectic days, I take it before going to the office. The effect when desk-bound is not as profound as when trying to keep 200+ lbs of iron from crashing on your head, but it definitely exists. The advantage Nitrous offers over coffee is that the Nitrous energy is a bit more focused and sedate – simulating the effectiveness of a fabled “well-rested” person – as opposed to the stress-amplifying energy boost provided by coffee.
-Whey Protein. Boosts immunity and replaces calories that otherwise may have come from donuts. I have nothing against donuts; I think they’re a very decadent snack. I also acknowledge that they’re terrible from a health perspective. While a serving of whey protein packs about 150 calories per 20-25 grams or protein, the protein gives more energy, boosts immunity, and can actually help cut fat as long as its being used to replace at least some unhealthy eating. (Drink enough of the stuff and the substitution for unhealthy foods will be inevitable.) Generally, more protein = more energy = better productivity. Think of it as eating a few pieces of chicken, but in liquid form and with a disgustingly obvious fake flavor like “strawberry.” The real advantage, however, is immunity, as it is easier to swim faster than the crowd when they are besieged with effete “diseases” like the “cold” and “flu” while you continue to put in face time and bill, courtesy of your superior immunity.