By the way

By J. DeVoy

One week ago, I killed Santa.  I’m telling the world now because I just confirmed that it was his DNA.  I didn’t take any pictures, and dumped the body in the ocean before a third party could verify its identity, but just trust me.

[N.B. – I do not doubt that Osama is dead.  As noted in my last post, the special forces teams that took him out are worthy of our awe and commendation; their success is a glowing reflection on our national resolve and resources.  But if you’re accepting the Government’s official story of any major event – especially its hastily disposed first draft – in the wake of the last thirty years of lies, misrepresentations and distortions, I don’t know what to say to you.]

22 Responses to By the way

  1. tim says:

    And yet you are more than willing to accept fake science from sketchy websites concerning the gulf oil disaster. I’m not sure what to say to you.

  2. Charles Platt says:

    You could have killed him a few years ago but refrained from doing so because his continuing existence was such a useful disciplinary tool for disobedient kids–right?

  3. Boz says:

    Oh my god. This is just unhealthy. If you really think it is more likely than not that the elected government of the world’s largest democracy would fake an entire military operation, then you have problems.

    The military’s Commander in Chief made an announcement from the White House. You think our military is that out of control? For that to be a lie, we would have to be under the control of a non-democratically elected military coup government. That’s a bit much, don’t you think?

    • J DeVoy says:

      If you really think it is more likely than not that the elected government of the world’s largest democracy would fake an entire military operation, then you have problems.

      Ever hear of the Gulf of Tonkin, or is your delusional libtardism interfering with reality?

      • Luke says:

        Not to mention the “irrefuteable evidence of weapons of mass destruction” in Iraq.
        Nice use of irony, Boz.

        • Boz says:

          There’s a huge difference between “Our intelligence indicates there are weapons of mass destruction,” and “We engaged in a military operation on foreign soil, shot a man, and dumped his body in the ocean.”

          It is insane that you can’t see that. Really, really unhealthy. Lying is one thing. All governments lie about their motives or their successes. But lying in all possible forms of government, based on military authority, from the Commander in Chief, about operations in a foreign country/sovereign state, FROM THE WHITE HOUSE is a little different. It’s the exact same insanity as the “birther” movement.

        • J DeVoy says:

          Luke: lol. high five.

          Boz: You sound like me when I was 16, trusting the incompetent and corrupt (by design) government to take care of me and know what’s best. Nice backpedal to justify your belief in Obama’s statements – because everyone lies, but the difference in the nature of lies means that we can assume THIS statement is true – before invoking the ad hom that anyone who disbelieves is equivalent to a birther.

          WordPress should require an LSAT score report to register an account.

          • Boz says:

            You guys can’t seem to grasp the false dichotomy here. I’m not saying trust everything the government says. Obviously, not all of it will be true.

            What I AM saying, is that if you think the government faked an operation in a foreign country and announced it from the White House, then we have had a military coup, and democracy no longer exists. That is going way too far with the paranoia.

            • J DeVoy says:

              Except that the very scenario you described is what happened in the Gulf of Tonkin. Thanks for playing.

            • Boz says:

              Except that it’s not what happened at Tonklin. The US military accidentally attacked its own boats and lied about it/possibly thought they were attacked/who the hell knows what the yahoos were up to in non-military operations.

              Where was the White House involvement? Where was the conspiracy involving every possible level of government PRE-INCIDENT? It’s just another case of the military lying, but failing to cover it up. It happens. (Iran Contra, and so on) You need to look up the definition of coup.

  4. Mike says:

    Haha. Perfect.

  5. John David Galt says:

    In a few years the ice would have melted out from under him anyway. :D

  6. Rogier says:

    Boz: The government has already substantially altered its version of events. Turns out the old bastard was unarmed when he was killed, and the human shield story doesn’t check out either. You must be shocked.

  7. MikeZ says:

    Personally I’m not sure the U.S. government could have proven to me that Osama was dead no matter what they did. Keeping and displaying and putting it on display on the Washington lawn wouldn’t really provide any more proof.

    What satisfies me/will satisfy me that Osama really is dead is the fact that Al Queda isn’t denying his death and people on the streets of Gaza are mourning his death. If the terrorists believe he is dead they in this instance may be more trustworthy.

  8. jlynne says:

    You have the preserved brain of Santa’s dead sister for DNA testing?

  9. MikeZ says:

    Another think about the Gov. story that seems bogus is the burial at sea. It seems like a lame ass answer that “No Country would accept the remains”. Wasn’t his corpse already in Pakistan? Seems like they could have just left it there.

    I don’t disagree that dumping him in the ocean wasn’t the best political option (no grave site as a rally point) but the excuse seems lame.

  10. Scott C says:

    Burying his remians would have provided a a shrine: didnt we learn anything at all from Jim Morrison?

  11. Rogier says:

    The story changes again. There was no firefight except in the first minute or two of the 40-minute raid. Also, Bin Laden was not holding a weapon but allegedly had access to weapons nearby. Every day brings a retraction from the White House of previously-stated ‘facts.’ Very interesting to watch it all unfold. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/05/us/politics/05binladen.html

  12. Chris says:

    The story keeps changing. You somehow see that as evidence of a conspiracy? If they made this up, they’d have made up a factual account and stuck to it.

  13. Sean F says:

    They probably just iced the dude then chucked him into the sea to prevent AQ from using it toward political ends (i.e. relics of a martyr). The story is to make people feel like they have the moral high ground.

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