The GOP Dead? Time For the Libertarian Party to Strike!

Ewww... stinky!

Ewww... stinky!

I remember after Kerry lost, the Democratic Party was being written off too, so I’m not so certain that the elephant is an endangered species.

Frankly, I think there is a place for the GOP in America’s future. Every country needs a far-right, bat-shit-crazy, nationalist, statist, whining about “traditional values” pack of bigots. As the GOP continues to shed its moderates to expose the soul of the party, it will wind up representing that segment of the United States. Given the fact that morons breed like flies and the educational system in most of the Confederade states is geared toward creating faith-based Wal-Mart greeters, and not critical thinkers, the GOP can comfortably count on a constant 20% of the electorate until the end of time – with the tide rising from time to time.

I rejoice in the GOP’s pain. The party of Lincoln, as it occasionally tries to brand itself when it notices that likely black voters are in the room, would horrify the 16th President. The “base” of the Republican party is a handful of uber-wealthy patricians who want to protect their inherited privilege at any cost, a few asian immigrants who didn’t do too badly when they got here, a handful of anti-Castro Miami Cubans who all claim to have spent time in Castro’s jails for political reasons, and a big mass of pork-rind eating, truck nutz sporting, bitter sons of Jefferson Davis. The latter started running to the party when Harry Truman had the audacity to support principles of racial equality. The flow continued when Nixon employed his “southern strategy” in 1968 — riding the bitterness he knew many felt in the South as they saw descendants of their former slaves get all uppity. Uppity meaning: After 400 years of white folks bein’ as good to them as the daaay is long, the damn nigrahs got all “wrong thinkin'” (mostly because of the Jews) and now had the audacity to want to use the same water fountains and public pools as good white folk. They followed it up with Reagan’s kitsch and Karl Rove’s “God, Guns, and Gays” strategy.

Essentially, the GOP’s strategy since Dewey defeated Truman has been to gather the bigots, the superstitious, and the uneducated under its “big tent.”

So why am I not satisfied? Isn’t it great that the Democrats hold the the White House, the House of Representatives, and a supermajority in the Senate?

No, it isn’t great, and I’m not satisfied. That that overwhelming Democratic superiority is a nice fresh piece of fruit that will have a bit of mold on it by 2012 and will be all finished in 2016.

I voted for Obama. I did more than vote for him. I made my wife delay having a caesarian by four days so that I could be on call for the Obama legal team. (If you think that Sarah Palin is scary, tell a nine-month pregnant woman that she needs to “hold it” for four extra days because you need to do something you believe in. If she doesn’t stab you in the throat with a fork and rip your heart from your chest with her bare hands and eat it, that means that she loves you).

Nevertheless, as committed as I was to the Obama campaign, I must admit that he didn’t win this election because of “Yes We Can,” nor because of “Hope,” nor because the young people came out for him. He won by riding a huge black vote turnout. I was in the polling places. I saw the huge lines of black voters who never voted before who came in, voted for Obama, and then asked “do I even need to vote on the other elections?” Voter apathy is rampant in America, more so in the black community. And you can bet that when Joe Biden is running in 2016, they aren’t about to haul their asses down to the polls for him. The black community isn’t going Republican in 2016, or likely ever, but they also aren’t too likely to show up at the polls in 2008 numbers ever again — not even to re-elect Obama.

And, as committed as I was to the campaign, I voted for Obama in spite of his membership in the Democratic Party, not because of it. I was not very popular at the debate-watching parties when I said that I thought the Party was a bunch of milquetoast pussies. I’m not thrilled with liberalism as a political philosophy. I can deal with economic liberalism, and even economic socialism. But social liberalism is essentially letting crybabies run amok.

CNN’s Political Ticker sort of gets it, of course, they have their faces pubes-deep in the political duopoly, so I wouldn’t expect anyone who works for that network to actually engage in any true analysis.

The Republican Party is the de facto Libertarian Party: Most people I talk to think of themselves not as Republicans or Democrats, but as libertarians. Not libertarians in the political party sense, but libertarians in a deeper philosophical sense. They tend to want government to stay out of their lives as much as possible. They tend to distrust all politicians, and when they hear someone say, “I am from the government, and I am here to help,” they tend to laugh uproariously. It was Will Rogers who said, “I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.” The Republican Party does best when it seeks to reform government, to lessen the power of the bureaucrat, and to fight to give more freedom to the people. When the GOP returns to that philosophical creed — which it will do in the face of the Obama administration’s vast expansion of government power — its fortunes will brighten again. (source)

Unfortunately, CNN provided this as a reason that the Republican Party would rebound. I provide it as a reason that the Libertarians need to strike now – while the iron is hot.

The Republican Party was, at one time, the refuge of Libertarians. That’s one of the reasons that I am a registered Republican, even though I rarely vote for the douchebags that the GOP nominates. However, the Bush years exposed the truth about the GOP: That the Republican mantra of “less government is better government” is nothing more than a marketing gimmick. Libertarians felt, and feel, alienated by the party that approved of spying on Americans, spending trillions on a war of personal choice, and a party that held on to power in 2004 by the skin of its teeth courtesy of a war on civil liberties, which played well with the God, Guns, and Gays voters.

Today, the Libertarians have no home. Some of us are hiding out in the Democratic fold — hoping that civil liberties will fare better under Obama than they would have under McCain, and knowing that they will fare better than they would if Bible Spice got a chance to pick a Supreme Court Justice. Some of us are still stuck in the Republican Party, but looking out the window wondering if there is something better out there.

If the Libertarian Party got its shit together, it would peel off enough disaffected Republicans to finally leave nothing but the God, Guns, and Gays crowd with a few monarchists thrown in. The Libertarians would also peel off a number of Democrats (perhaps Arlen Specter would have had somewhere else to go). I could see the Libertarian party growing to control 20% to 30% of the vote — enough to grab some seats in Congress, and to have a voice that both major parties would court to form a controlling coalition.

But, instead, the Libertarian party seems to be content with sticking its thumb up its ass and collecting 2% of the vote. I hope that they wake up.

12 Responses to The GOP Dead? Time For the Libertarian Party to Strike!

  1. Patrick says:

    It would help if the Libertarians had more candidates like Mike Munger (who got almost four percent in North Carolina, a heavily black state, in 2008), ran a great campaign, and won debates on points when allowed to participate. He was better qualified than either of the two hacks the major parties put up. See Reason’s article on his campaign:

    (He also has a great blog: )

  2. jesschristensen says:

    So, which Libertarianism would you endorse? (Since there’s more than one libertarian ideology afoot)

    • I’m in favor of social libertarianism and a bit more suspect of economic libertarianism.

      But, this isn’t about me being in favor of either — I think that the real good that would come from the Libertarians finally striking would be 1) breaking the duopoly, 2) sending the God, Guns, and Gays to the corner where they belong. Frankly, if the Greens weren’t just a bunch of worthless sissies, I’d say that they should strike, but lets face it, Greens are pussies.

  3. hawkhead says:

    Reports of the death of the Republican Party are greatly exaggerated.

    Goldwater won like 3 precincts in 1964 (I know I’m exaggerating, but still). The Democrats had 68 seats in the Senate.

    But Nixon still won in 1968, and the triumph of the Goldwater Republicans happened twelve years later with Reagan.

    • I think you are correct. If the Libertarians do NOT strike now, the tide will change and the Republicans will be able to regenerate like any other slime drooling zombie.

      But… if the Libertarians move now, the iron is hot.

  4. Mister DNA says:

    Libertarians need to distance themselves from the Republicans who have appropriated the term “Libertarian” in some bizarre attempt to distance themselves from the GOP’s defeats of 2008/2008.

    Glenn Beck can claim to have libertarian sympathies until he’s blue in the face, but at the end of the day, he’s just another authoritarian fuckhead.

    It would be great if Libertarians could make advances in the next decade or so, but the sad truth is, the Obama administration will simply shit on the American public over the next 4 to 8 years, and by 2016, a republican administration will look like a rainbow-filled Utopia to the average voter.

  5. Paul W Dennis says:

    Like most Libertarians ,I am not comfortable with some of the misanthropes of the GOP. Still I see nothing in the Democratic Party to entice me, since I am firmly convinced that the Democrats are owned by the trial bar, probably the biggest source of criminal behavior in this country. This country isn’t set up to have a viable 3rd party (for that we’d need a parliamentary system) so I guess Libertarians need to commandeer one of the two existing parties and I don’t think playing footsie with idiots who think Keynesianism works is the way to go. By default, that leaves the GOP

    • I don’t agree that the Libertarians have to run to one of the other parties. Sure, it may take a long time for a Libertarian to take the presidency, but if the libertarians controlled 10 seats in the Senate and 40 or so in the House, both parties would be courting them to come up with a majority. We may not have a strict parliamentary system, but we have the structure in place for motivated third parties to be a viable force.

  6. Randall Tigue says:

    Those who hope for a Libertarian uprising need to be reminded that a Libertarian is simply a Republican who likes to fuck and smoke dope.

    • Mr. Tigue, we are deeply honored by your presence!

      As for your comment: I am a registered Republican. Imply anything you like from my support for the Libertarian party. ;)

  7. […] apart from its rhetoric, offers none at all, economic or social.  If it’s true that the majority of Americans self-identify as libertarians, either socially or economically or on both fronts, the time is ripe for an organized party to […]

  8. […] is the notion that the GOP could crumble completely and make way for a new mainstream party, Whigs, Libertarians, or […]

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