“Conservatives” — meet your reality. Bachmann signs pledge to wipe her ass with the Constitution

Michelle Bachmann, someone unqualified to clean my toilets, has jumped out ahead of the pack as the new conservative darling.

Anyone who thinks of themselves as a conservative should either change name tags or have their heads examined.

Bachmann is in the news today for signing a pledge that she will fight homosexuality and pornography. (source) You see, the damn liberals want to tell us how to run our lives. And, government that governs best governs least. Right?

So lets make sure that the government stays out of our lives and respects the Constitution by, ummm, errr… well, trying to influence who people fuck. Lawrence v. Texas be damned… and we, umm… well we love presidential candidates who sign pledges to fight against free expression.

You know, because the founders didn’t jerk off to internet porn, so it must be outside the protection of the First Amendment, right?

Honestly, if you read this blog and you don’t hate Michelle Bachmann, stop reading and don’t come back. Seriously. Fuck you.

10 Responses to “Conservatives” — meet your reality. Bachmann signs pledge to wipe her ass with the Constitution

  1. Stephen Chamberlain says:

    *slow clap*

  2. Darren says:

    She’s a Christian first. She’s a conservative second so she can relearn a bunch of stuff she learned in the first one.

  3. blueollie says:

    Sorry, I don’t hate Michelle Bachmann, I just don’t think that she is qualified for public office of any kind.

    Really, if she were having a heart attack I’d attempt CPR and call the EMTs.

  4. Justin T. says:

    I know that certain tests for public office are verboten or whatever, but can we please implement some kind of basic political and constitutional knowledge test before someone is qualified to run for a national office? Seriously, not only is she unqualified to be President, but her position on the Constitution, whether she’s just blatantly disregarding it or is seriously that ignorant about it, makes her unqualified to serve as a Senator. Shit, that makes her unqualified to teach Middle School U.S. government, which I’m guessing is where her political education seems to have stopped.

  5. Sean F. says:

    Why should I change my nametag? I actually am a conservative while this bitch and her followers clearly aren’t.

    They should change their nametags.

  6. Mike says:

    “Michelle Bachmann, someone unqualified to clean my toilets…” Excellent.

  7. [...] to say, defenders of the First Amendment are less than happy. (Randazza is one of my favorite ranters! He combines awesome ranting with deep knowledge and [...]

  8. przedłużanie rzęs warszawa…

    “Conservatives” — meet your reality. Bachmann signs pledge to wipe her ass with the Constitution « The Legal Satyricon…

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