A Washington Grand Jury indicted Roger Clemens for lying to Congress in a deposition and in under-oath testimony before a congressional committee. He falsely denied, while under oath, ever using steroids. Clemens faces 30 years in jail and a $1.5 million fine. (source)
And after that, when he finally dies and goes to hell, he will be sentenced to a demon shoving a pineapple up his ass every day for all eternity — for the crime of wearing pinstripes after being a member of the Red Sox. Yeah, fuck you too, Johnny Damon.