Cybersecurity bill gives executive branch new powers over the internet

By J. DeVoy

From The Hill:

The president would have the power to safeguard essential federal and private Web resources under draft Senate cybersecurity legislation.

According to an aide familiar with the proposal, the bill includes a mandate for federal agencies to prepare emergency response plans in the event of a massive, nationwide cyberattack.

The president would then have the ability to initiate those network contingency plans to ensure key federal or private services did not go offline during a cyberattack of unprecedented scope, the aide said. 

Despite the predictable outcry from libertarians (SOSHULISM!), this seems like a reasonable proposal.  Without such plans, the risk of a cyber-Katrina seem markedly higher.  Granted, the plan may not work, but at least one exists if there’s ever a need for it.

In reality, this is a specific response to a heightened threat by China.  The White House has been a target of its internet attacks, as was Google.  For readers who have full security software suites on their computers, viewing the frequency and number of pings your network ports have receive from China may be shocking.  But, simultaneously, it may be foolish to assume our government doesn’t do the same thing.

Finally! Is explicit content coming to the iPhone?

By J. DeVoy

From the Telegraph:

Several developers have reported seeing a new category appearing in the drop-down menus of iTunes Connect, the platform they use to distribute apps through the App Store. Alongside standard categories, such as “entertainment”, “games” and “productivity”, is a new tag: “explicit”.

Apple has not commented on the rumours, or confirmed whether or not it will be adding an explicit category to the App Store. Some developers are now reporting that this category has been removed from iTunes Connect lists

The screenshot tells the story.

This will be a step forward for Apple if it comes to fruition.  Recently, the company caused a small uproar for pulling an adult application from its iTunes Store.  Moreover, this would be a significant change from Apple’s recent position against adult content in the iTunes Store, which was flimsy to begin with:

When asked about the Swimsuit Edition app, Phil said, “The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format.”

Oh, so recognized brands like Hustler and Vivid don’t meet that threshold?  My bad.

Conclusion to Wisconsin facebook blackmail case

By J. DeVoy

Today, a Wisconsin man who posed as a girl on social networking sites to obtain nude photos of more than 30 of his high school classmates, which he then used for blackmail, was sentenced to 15 years in prison.  Anthony Stancl, 19, used these pictures to coerce his classmates to perform sexual acts with him.  Stancl photographed these encounters as well, giving him further blackmail material.  If his victims refused, Stancl threatened to release the photos to the public and other classmates.

This is not Stancl’s first run-in with state authorities.  In 2008, he was investigated for a bomb threat written on the wall of a bathroom stall.  He followed this initial threat up by using an alias from a public computer and e-mailing two of his teachers, “Good luck tomorrow. Boom.”

NY Times releases Paterson exposé

By. J. DeVoy

A little over a week ago I mentioned that New York Governor David Paterson was shaking in his boots regarding a then-unpublished piece that may end his political career.  As Ferdinand Bardamu speculated, the fact that Paterson handled it so poorly virtually assured that a forgivable infraction would become fatal.

Yesterday, the New York Times opened the floodgates.  One of Paterson’s aides, David W. Johnson, had an altercation with a woman who claims she was later harassed by state police and then called by Paterson, leading to her dropping the case.  Paterson, heeding the classic advice of deny and counter-accuse, offered a different view:

Through a spokesman, Mr. Paterson said the call actually took place the day before the scheduled court hearing and maintained that the woman had initiated it. He declined to answer further questions about his role in the matter.

Bardamu’s analysis seems to be the credited one: This is small potatoes in terms of scandals, yet Paterson built it up to a point where it now threatens his political career.  To be clear, Paterson likely would have lost re-election without this event, desperately flailing and claiming that racism is the root of his many woes.  But in a state where the former senate majority leader was found guilty of corruption, this could have very easily slid under the voters’ radar.  From Jamestown to Nassau, the consensus is that New York government sucks, yet it never changes.

More details about Johnson and the alleged altercation, from the article:

The alleged assault happened shortly before 8 p.m. on Halloween in the apartment she had shared with Mr. Johnson and her 13-year-old son for about four years, according to police records.

She told the police that Mr. Johnson, who is 6-foot-7, had choked her, stripped her of much of her clothing, smashed her against a mirrored dresser and taken two telephones from her to prevent her from calling for help, according to police records.

The woman was twice granted a temporary order of protection against Mr. Johnson, according to the proceedings in Family Court in the Bronx.

“I’m scared he’s going to come back,” she said, according to the proceedings, in which a court referee at the initial hearing noted bruises on the woman’s arm.

While an aggressive and inexcusable beating, this isn’t the level of intensity I was expecting.  Politicians have left interns to drown in their sinking cars and gone on to continue serving in far more impressive positions than Johnson’s, until becoming brain dead.  Again, Paterson’s poor initial reaction led me to believe the facts would be far worse.  Also, choking is a recurring theme I’m seeing come up far too often lately.  The article says Johnson used his hands, with no mention of a belt.  The mind wanders…

The Times gives too much credit to this nameless victim.  She may have simply forgotten to show up at her hearing.  Or, from a more taboo angle, she may have never wanted to attend it.  Although she claims not to have seen Johnson since October 31, her reptilian hindbrain, overriding her grrlpower programming, may be responsible for the proceedings’ end.  Even the most attractive women will pair up with losers and degenerates if it makes her tingle.  Rihanna defended Chris Brown even after he pummeled her, despite their brief separation.

The lesson to take away from this event is that girls like status and power.  Johnson, a high-ranking aide to Paterson, had it in spades among his peer group.  Status and power, however, have some correlation to sociopathic behaviors, and those traits – indifference, manipulativeness, cruelty – serve as a signaling mechanism of a man’s higher value.  No low status man can afford to treat other people, especially society’s pedestalized women, badly.

Paterson may have acted inappropriately.  His hysterical overreaction almost certainly doomed what remains of his political career.  But the buried lede is that Johnson was a high-status man who can get away with much of what he wants.  Although he may have left the victim’s life, her actions – dropping her case – speak louder than her words.  It would be uncouth for a woman to admit she wants an abusive man back, something fit only for the trailer park freak show of daytime television, like Maury or Judge Judy rip-offs.  But doing so would just be natural.  Always remember Roissy Maxim #101: For most women, five minutes of alpha is worth five years of beta.

Is Higher Education Overrated?

This Time Magazine article makes a compelling case that it might be.

Time for a Revolt against the TSA

 

BECAUSE WE LIVE HERE!

First the government says that we need more people who speak Arabic. Then, the TSA handcuffs and detains a student for carrying Arabic flashcards into an airport.Kids’ pillows are a threat to national security, as is Play Doh.TSA agents force a disabled four year old boy’s parents to remove his leg braces before he can pass through security. Then, to add insult to that injury, demand that the poor kid hobble through the metal detector unassisted. When the dad got upset, the reaction of the local flunky was that he needed to “calm down and enjoy his vacation.“

None of this idiocy makes us safer.

The TSA operates on the premise that terrorists are as stupid and inflexible as the dipshits who work for the TSA. They presume that since one guy tried to make a bomb out of his shoes, that this is such a threat that millions of people a day need to have their shoes screened. You can’t bring a full sized tube of toothpaste or a bottle of water through security, because…I don’t even fucking know. Water might be a bomb? Meanwhile, you could strap 80 ounces of “deadly” water to your belly with this bad boy, but I’m sure that there are no terrorists who know how to use the internet. You can’t bring a rock on a plane, because it is a “dual use item,” a potential low-tech weapon. Meanwhile, though, you can carry a solid-metal Macbook Pro on a plane, and even the wimpiest hipster can turn the average NFL linebacker’s skull into brain pudding with a swift swing of that stylish goodness.

We. Are. Not. Safer. When. Fucking. Idiots. Are. In. Charge.

TSA has given us idiotic rules that make absolutely no sense — all in a quest to give us “security theater,” or to just make us get used to following moronic rules laid down by bigger morons, who then delegate enforcement to complete flunkies.

The greatest threat to America is not terrorism. Flunkiedom, not terrorism, is the greatest threat to America. We have seen this in FEMA and the DOJ, we have seen it in Wall Street, and we now see it in TSA, the agency responsible for our in-air safety.

We have become a nation that operates like this:

Step 1: Imagine the absolute worst thing that could ever happen. This thing is the 1 in 1,000,000 event. Imagine the event while watching Dateline NBC or Fox News.

Step 2: Make a rule to keep the 1 in 1,000,000 event from EVER happening – regardless of how that rule affects the other 999,999 events.

Step 3: Hire an abject freakin moron to implement the rule. That person must either be so stupid that they could never exercise an independent thought, or they must be completely disempowered to do so.

And that, my friends, is how the new America works!

What should we do about it?

Honestly… hasn’t the time come for us to revolt? I mean, somehow? Professor Bainbridge says that we should, but offers no practical suggestions as to how we can really “revolt.”

While we plan our revolt, lets get one thing out of the way. You are a complete and total pussy. Yes you are. Don’t be offended; I am too.

By rights, we should arm ourselves, storm the TSA’s offices, and start cutting throats. We won’t; we’re pussies. When we see TSA agents going full-moron, we should all rush the gate, grab the asshole, and stuff him (or her) in the X-Ray machine and shove the hand-wand metal detector in his (or her) ass. If TSA agents were concerned about that happening to them if they over-reacted, you can bet they’d be a bit more careful with our supposedly precious civil liberties.

Getting a little more realistic, we could at least commit acts of civil disobedience at airports.

We won’t. We’re pussies.

Seriously, even if you live a relatively modest life, you’ve just got too much to lose by standing up for your freedom in any direct manner. You wouldn’t risk your LCD television for “freedom,” let alone your personal liberty for the freedom of others. Not even the most bad-assed Marine would risk losing his 1992 Firebird to protect your freedom, and I’m not putting my shit on the line either.

So what are we supposed to do? VOTE! That’s the ticket!

Are you going to vote against your congressman’s re-election over it? That’s a laugh. Incumbents have won reelection at rate over 90% for almost two decades. Are we really going to marshall armies of voters to toss out incumbents who don’t crack down on the TSA? Good luck, Skippy. Lets say we could even get 1,000 voters together to agree on that issue, all the incumbent would have to do is toss a god, guns, or gays issue in the middle of us and we’d be at each others throats like starving rabid coyotes.

So what can we do?

Here is a suggestion: Everyone who knows a TSA employee — no matter what their level of authority, no matter how close they are to you, treat them like shit.

Absolute shit. Be mean. Be demeaning. Be insulting.

Watch the movie The Elephant Man, and make TSA employees wish they could switch places with John Merrick.

If someone walks into your business wearing a TSA uniform, refuse to serve them. (Loudly proclaiming “we don’t serve your kind in here!”) If you see them on the bus, stand in their way so that they miss their stop. If you live near them, call the police on them for any minor transgression (rules are rules, after all). If you’re on their condo board, enforce every single rule against them, no matter how petty or stupid it may be (ditto). If you’re related to one, make fun of them at family gatherings. If you know a TSA employee, don’t let them in your house until you make them take off their shoes and undergo some humiliating bullshit at your door. Better yet, just tell them that they can’t come in your house. Tell your kids to stay away from the TSA employee’s kids or they’ll catch a loathsome disease. If you know one on Facebook, post mean shit on their Facebook page.

If we all collectively treat them badly, eventually maybe they will all start wondering whether they are really doing the right thing. Maybe they’ll bitch at work. (It might backfire for a little while, so be forewarned). No matter how high or how low the TSA flunkie is, make them wish that they would be struck down with leprosy so that at least then they could be objects of pity. Make them quit their jobs.

Look, the Third Reich couldn’t have committed its crimes without the petty little shits who carried the nightsticks. And America can’t turn into a complete Flunkie-Idiocracy without the flunkie idiots. We can’t resist directly, because we’re materialistic pussies. However, we can be petty and cruel. Just be petty and cruel as fuck to a TSA employee, any TSA employee — every day, everywhere, and all the time.

Treat a TSA employee like shit today, tomorrow, and the next day. Treat them so harshly that they weep in the goddamned corner and choose between their job and complete social social ostracism. If they quit their jobs, embrace them, love them, and make it up to them — but until we beat the living crap out of them emotionally, these foot soldiers of idiocracy will continue to do their jobs with aplomb.

Do your patriotic duty! — Be mean to a TSA employee now.

And yes, I’m sure that my name will be on a list for this. Fuck it, I can be a little bit less of a pussy. I get “randomly” selected all the time anyway.

Who dates porn actresses, anyway?

By J. DeVoy

Everyone has seen perfectly formed, almost impossibly figured adult actresses on the screen – or more likely in flash video frames on computer screens – but few know about their lives off the set.  Porn stars do have public lives at events like the AVN and Xbiz awards, and Adult Entertainment Expo, but these seem more like extensions of their profession than an unvarnished view of them as people.

Details magazine recently ran a revealing piece about relationships between adult actresses and their husbands who work outside the industry.  On the whole, these seem like normal middle-class guys, including a driver, a bouncer and a graphic designer.  The relationships appear healthy as well, with husbands and boyfriends resigned to their wives proclivities and work-induced limitations as all male partners are wont to do — except that here, it involves porn.

Some of the vignettes, such as dealing with parent-teacher conferences, are heartwarming.  The article’s subjects stop being attached to the adult entertainment industry and are seen as the regular people they are, with logistical issues and split domestic duties like every other household.  Some stories, however, are a bit more jarring and career-specific.

“I got a text message from her that said ‘I’ve been ripped,’” he recalls. Skyline had been shooting a scene with Billy Glide, a porn star who’s nicknamed the Human Wine Bottle, and his oversize penis tore the inside of her vagina.

Brown knew the drill. “Get that text and you know it’s no sex for a few days,” he says, rolling his eyes. “I constantly made Epsom-salt baths and forced her to get in. It burns the cut but also helps it to heal faster.”

Still, the undertones of caring are readily apparent even in that tale.  Epsom-salt baths, foot rubs, back massages and listening attentively to work gossip are all sides of the same freakishly large Dungeons & Dragons die you thought you left behind forever in your parents’ basement.

The article’s shortcoming is its focus on actresses having functional relationships with men outside the industry.  Some relationships, whether related to pornography or not, aren’t as functional as the ones detailed in the article.  Additionally, some women and men eschew committed relationships in favor of the soft polygamy of modern dating.

Marc Randazza previously offered a more comprehensive view of porn couples.  Holding the female variant constant, with a slight expansion to include strippers with adult actresses, he fully addresses the most common male archetypes romantically linked to women in the biz.

The Roughneck – Bikers, bouncers, etc. Sometimes they are even co-stars with them or got them into the field. Usually a little older. For these guys, having a girl who does porn is a sort of “accessory” to their personality. Interestingly enough, these seem to be the happiest porn relationships. However, they *can* explode at a moment’s notice. Also, the male must constantly defend his territory against other alpha males. When these relationships last for more than five years, they usually hold on permanently.

The Savior – the guy who got involved with her to try and save her from the biz, The savior is usually a loser in his regular life. He can’t take care of a normal woman, so he figures if all he has to do to “save” his girlfriend is get her out of the porn industry, that’s an easy bar to jump over. The richer, the more bummed out he is. A poor “savior” might come to accept that his girlfriend’s vagina keeps a roof over both their heads. The wealthy savior loses his mind when his woman misses the extra perks of the scene and goes back to dancing or porn despite the fact that the Savior has handed her an unlimited amount of money.

The Agent – the guy who thinks that he can manage her career. Related to the Savior and the Roughneck, and can be misidentified as one or the other. However, this guy is really grooving on the fact that he’s getting porn/stripper ass and is convinced that his woman is the next Jenna Jameson. However, just like every parent thinks their kid is gifted, he can’t see that his girl is just another one in the faceless crowd. The Agent usually winds up wrecking his girl’s career because nobody wants to deal with this shitbag hanging around.

The Patient Cuckold - the second most well-adjusted and happy of the industry men (after the Roughneck). He loves his woman enough that she can walk all over him. He doesn’t like what she does, but accepts it as the cost of being with her. He figures if he can hold out for a few years, she’ll eventually wash out of the business, and then they’ll go open a carpet store or a restaurant or live some other kind of anonymous life together. Interestingly enough, this plan usually works.

The Guido – a sub-species of the roughneck. However, he is usually a well-off trust fund guy with a small dick who spends too much time in the gym. Almost always Italian or Jewish, but occasionally Middle Eastern. If Middle Eastern, he will adopt an Italian “nickname” and pretend to be Italian. If Jewish, will adopt stereotypical Italian mannerisms, but not actually claim to be Italian. Often a younger bouncer, a DJ, a doorman, or works at the girl’s gym. Wants people to think he is “connected,” but if anyone who had anything to do with organized crime spent more than 10 minutes with him, they would either kill him or get arrested because of him. Doesn’t last long unless he slacks off on his physical training once he snags a porn chick – then he hangs on for dear life in a sick version of the Cuckold, but his internal anger never allows him to be a happy one. While the Roughneck has a porn chick as an accessory to his personality, the Guido has one as an actual fashion accessory. The sort of guy who will spend $800 on a Dolce Gabbana belt, but thinks that college tuition is a stupid waste of money. Often closeted gay, the porn chick is a way to try and convince the world (and himself) that he isn’t really gay.

The Bottom - a rare species that exists only in BDSM relationships. She tells him what to do and he does it … and he likes it that way. Not the same as the Cuckold, although they may share characteristics. The Cuckold is a patient man waiting for the tide to change. The bottom likes things the way that they are, and for now, they are the way his porn/stripper chick tells him. She may even make him clean her after shoots.

The Daddy - Older guy who “takes care” of a porn chick. Sometimes an older Bottom or Patient Cuckold. If his first foray into porn talent, he’s simply older, has a few bucks, and doesn’t mind what she does, simply because he’s about to die anyway. In these relationships, she almost always has another boyfriend — usually a Guido. Sometimes, he might be the owner or manager of the club where she dances. If she is bisexual, he will last longer, since she’ll get her fill of youth from other women and won’t mind the fact that he has old sagging balls.

The Pimp - a complete low-life. Unfortunately, extremely common. He may have gotten her into the biz. He lives off of her income while his “screenplay is being shopped”, “business venture” is getting off the ground, while he is getting “investors” together, etc. He always has a plan — that plan is never actually moving forward. The kind of guy who says “you think you’re smart? I’m one class away from six masters’ degrees, you know.” Related to the Agent, but couldn’t give a shit about her actual career. He is a deadbeat/parasite and he’s why she has no money all the time. Can transform into an Agent, but usually not. Discourages her from leaving the biz, even if she wants to. Often moves from porn chick to porn chick.

This list offers an illuminating look into the divergence of being alpha (Pimp, Roughneck, Guido) or beta (Bottom, Cuckold) as a dating and potential reproductive strategy.  For male readers, the roles available to you are clearly defined.  Determine which one best suits you and begin fulfilling it. 

ADDITION: The Swinger / Political Porn Husband This is a species that is so rare, that many in the industry can go their entire lives and never spot one in the wild. However, a good friend of Randazza’s just reminded him of this specimen. The Swinger is one who is so committed to the swinging lifestyle that he sees his woman’s fucking on film to be either a mere exercise of their open relationship or that he enjoys the fact that her doing it gives a middle finger to the conservative values that look down on such conduct. Extremely rare.

One final note about dating women in porn: Considering America’s bizarre vilification of sex, porn stars are more likely to be “clean” – in every sense – than a girl you pick up in a bar. Ehow specifically states that STD testing is a required condition of getting into mainstream porn.  Sometimes incidents do occur, but they are incidents merely because of how rare and isolated they are.  According to a 2007 Village Voice article, “The industry now requires that all performers arrive on a set with an AIM test [Ed.'s note: an industry-standard comprhensive STD test]
no older than 30 days with negative results for HIV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea.”  I defy girls in college towns and big cities who are picked up by guys on a regular basis to do the same.

How to get yourself off: A class at Michigan Law?

Brought to you by Michigan Law

It gets awfully cold in Ann Arbor, Michigan this time of year. Our sources report that a man, most likely a homeless vagrant, has been bopping his baloney in the Michigan Law Library. Well, christ, with the temperature hovering around -3 fahrenheit, a poor guy’s wiener might just go all brittle and shatter if he did it the old fashioned way — hiding in the bushes outside while murmuring “free candy… freeeee candy.” Accordingly, our vagrant-du-jour has decided to engage in his practice of the fapping arts in the hallowed halls of the Michigan Law School library.

“I am not positive that it was a homeless guy,” said a source familiar with the incident who asked not to be named for fear of retribution. “But, I would bet cold hard cash — you see shady fucks in there all the time.”

This particular “shady fuck” and his antics prompted the following bulletin to be broadcast to the entire Michigan Law student body:

From: David H. Baum
Date: Fri, Feb 19, 2010 at 3:31 PM
Subject: Incidents in Law Library
To: “Law School Official List: May10″

—–

To: Law student community
Cc: Law Library staff

We have received a report that on two recent Saturday afternoons, the same man indecently exposed himself in the sub-levels of the Law Library. Each time, he sat down near a female law student at a study table, discreetly and quietly pulled his pants part of the way down his legs, and touched himself inappropriately. In each instance, once he was aware that he had been noticed, he quickly left the library. In neither incident did he overtly confront the student nor behave in an aggressive manner toward her.

He was described as a medium- to dark-complected black male in his early 30′s, 5’7″, 160 pounds, bald (almost polished head), last seen wearing a brown coat, black sweater, tan pants and a brown or off green knit hat.

The Department of Public Safety is actively involved in addressing this issue. If you have observed similar behavior in the past in the library (or anywhere in Hutchins Hall or the Legal Research building), please contact Officer Richard Zavala or Officer David Dupuis either by e-mail or telephone.

If you observe similar behavior in the future, please immediately report the matter to DPS by calling that same number. Once you have reported the matter to DPS, please let the Office of Student Affairs know about the incident as well by e-mailing lawstudentaffairs@umich.edu.

David H. Baum
Assistant Dean and Senior Manager of Student Affairs
University of Michigan Law School

I am a “glass is half full” kind of guy, so lets focus on the positive here.

Without condoning Spanky Mc Fapperson’s antics, it does sound as if he exercised good manners whilst tossing his tallywhacker. The good dean describes his jacking technique as both “discreet” and “quiet.” At least the guy was exercising proper library etiquette! He was neither overtly confrontational nor aggressive, and he left when his welcome seemed worn out. Aside from the masturbating in the library part, it sounds like he was downright gentlemanly. He is a credit to homeless compulsive masturbators everywhere.

A Michigan Law Student we interviewed for this article informed us that Spanky’s efforts might have gone unnoticed, had he brought his penile motion in a better venue. “If you are going to jerk it, you have to do it in the rare book room,” he said.

Banning the use of “retarded” is, well, you know…

By J. DeVoy

A recent Washington Post piece by Christopher Fairman takes up the looming controversy over the word “retard” and all its forms.  For good or for ill, “retard” and all its derivatives have come into such common use that public awareness is needed to stomp out its casual, easily uttered nature.  The question is whether this self-censorship proposed by disability advocacy groups is desirable.

Invariably, negative connotations materialize around whatever new word is used; “idiot” becomes an insult and gives way to “retardation,” which in turn suffers the same fate, leading to “intellectual disability.” This illustrates one of the recurring follies of speech restriction: While there may be another word to use, a negative connotation eventually is found. Offense — both given and taken — is inevitable. (source)

Fairman notes that the negative implications surrounding the word “retarded” simply will coalesce around its successor term.  What he proposes is a reclamation of the word akin to what LGBTQ groups have done with “queer,” and feminists have done with “slut” and colorful terms for reproductive anatomy.  Through reclamation, the affected groups can maintain the word’s legitimate uses, if any, and deprive it of its offensiveness.  What’s the good of calling an ugly person homely if they revel in their asymmetries and poor genes? (See generally, hipsters.)

I’m skeptical of reclamation as an effective strategy for depriving words of meaning.  Marc has previously addressed this issue, noting how much this Orwellian “Newspeak” offends his sense of free expression.  Indeed, this form of forced censorship only reinforces not only the word’s negative meaning, but its power as well.  See for yourself:

So we agree, don’t call anyone with Down’s a “retard.”

But, that doesn’t mean that we need to cleanse the language of all uses of the word. I love the word “retard.” “Retard” is a completely accurate way to describe Marion Barry, Rhonda Storms, George W. Bush, Gail Dines, Larry Craig, Andrea Dworkin, and Kevin Federline.

I understand that the developmentally disabled have a problem gaining the respect they deserve. I feel for them and I wouldn’t stand by as anyone abused or mocked the developmentally disabled. 

This kind of thing gives critical crybaby theorists and every other kind of “victim studies” blowhard a raging boner. But, for those of us who actually contribute anything to society, all it does is get us to a place where the message gets lost in endless quibbling over words.

“Retarded” no longer means “developmentally disabled.” Therefore, the developmentally disabled don’t get to own the word anymore.

Essentially, the word has come into such common usage that it no longer means what it originally did.  In many ways, this resembles a case where a trademark holder has done a poor job policing his or her mark’s use, and must surrender it to the public domain.  Marc does note, though, that the term should never be used disparagingly against someone with a disability.  I agree that it’s best to use the proper term for someone’s condition; I try to avoid using the word “retarded” myself.  Using correct, proper language that makes people feel bad tends to rile the illiterati and their peacenik abettors.

My proposal, taking a page from Ben Bernake, is to inflate “retard” and other offensive terms to the point of worthlessness.  Crude language and the most socially reviled epithets are thrown around casually on 4chan.org and other message boards.  Just like the increasingly worthless few hundred dollars in my bank account, an abundance of anything – a commodity, a product or a word – reduces its value, sometimes drastically.  It would still be uncouth for everyone say “retard” or any other word for the sake of doing so.  But, if everyone is aware of the term, its history, and its slide into the gutter of America’s lexicon, people will stop being so offended by it.

Vote for Photography Is Not a Crime

Photography is Not a Crime is one of the most compelling publications in the blogosphere. Its editor, Carlos Miller, was arrested for exercising his First Amendment right to photograph police officers in a public place. He turned that experience into a one-man crusade to push back against overreaching law enforcement. He is not a lawyer, but he successfully defended himself in an appeal of his case, and he continues to serve as a source of both information and inspiration.

Miller is currently running in 6th Place in the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel “Best of Blogs” awards. In a tribute to how goddamned stupid Flori-duh is, he’s running behind “The Daily Cute” and “Grrl Grrrl – Adventures of a Girl on the Grill.” Are you shitting me?

Please, take a few moments to register and vote for Photography is Not a Crime.

Sometimes violence is the answer – Epic Beard Man FTW!

This is EPIC BEARD MAN!

How to become a world famous douchebag/punk.

Step One: Pick a fight with an old man
Step Two: After the old man walks away, continue to pick a fight with him
Step Three: Get smacked down like the punk ass you are
Step Four: Get eaten by the Internet Hate Machine

If you watch carefully, you can see that Epic Beard Man is wearing a shirt that says “I AM A MOTHERFUCKER.” In nature, poison frogs have evolved bright colors so that animals know not to eat them. Those that fail to heed the warning are naturally selected out of the gene pool.

Similarly, if you see an old man who seems like easy prey, and you fail to heed the markings that nature has placed on him, you just might wind up on the downside of evolution – just like a dumbass bird who eats a poison tree frog.

In other words, this douchebag thought he could bully an old man while his friends cheered him on. Then, in a wild twist of fate, the old man kicks his ass. Now Mr. “call the amber lamps” is famous for being the would-be-bully who got punk-slapped. Can you imagine any self-respecting human female wishing to mate with this specimen?

H/T: PepsiCan

IOC Uses DMCA to Suppress Luge Accident Video

by Jason Fischer

The opening day of the 2010 Winter Olympics was marked with tragedy when 21-year-old Georgian luger, Nodar Kumaritashvili, was involved in a fatal crash during a training run. The horrific event dampened the spirit of the international competition and colored the mood at the opening ceremonies later that night. As anyone would expect, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) sprung into action, responding to the accident with a multi-point plan:

• Shut down the luge track to prevent any more deaths… check.
• Conduct an internal investigation… check.
• Let an “independent” authority do its own investigation… check.
• Make immediate modifications to the luge track to stop future accidents… check.
• Make a press release, expressing regret, but denying all responsibility… check.

All perfectly acceptable anticipated responses. So why is this an IP story, you ask? Well, when the above-described actions failed to push this embarrassing catastrophe under the rug, the IOC turned to their attorneys, asking what else could be done to hush the whole thing up. Video clips of Kumaritashvili losing control of his sled and crashing into a steel pole were popping up all over the internets, repeatedly showing the world what happened. The answer from their legal team: Those people are violating our copyright in that clip! We can use the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) to have that material removed from the web — so no one else will see it!

Now, giving the IOC the benefit of the doubt, I’m sure their intentions in suppressing the accident footage were honorable. Don’t misunderstand me. I recognize that what happened was horrible, and Kumaritashvili’s family and teammates are likely still reeling from the impact of it all. If they have to see that clip everywhere they turn on the web, that’s not ideal — especially if any of the commentary employing the clip was in poor taste, which I’m sure some of it was.

Even where all of this is true, U.S. copyright law was not implemented to choke off the flow of facts and news reporting. In fact, § 107 of the Copyright Act specifically limits a copyright owner’s rights in these kinds of situations. The IOC cannot use DMCA takedown notices to silence the speech it does not like. In fact, sending those notices may end up costing the IOC, unless they can successfully make the case that they considered whether use of the clips could be fair use before making their demands. Just ask the artist currently known as Prince. This will be tough argument for the IOC, considering this isn’t the first time they’ve tried to misuse their copyrights.

Unfortunately, groups like the IOC don’t recognize that the appropriate response to inappropriate speech is not to look for the most expedient suppression mechanism — it’s more speech. The marketplace of ideas is perfectly capable of recognizing which commentary is a legitimate dissemination of news about the tragedy and which ones are morbidly childish. Sending out demand letters that essentially state “you have to pay if you want to show our Faces of Death video” is equally deplorable, no matter what the IOC’s intentions actually were.

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The article was originally published on The Tactical IP Blog

Tampa psychologist allegedly bills insurer for banging patient

By J. DeVoy

In a quintessentially Floridian story, Dr. Daniel R. Lerom is being sued by his former patient and lover over their tryst.  The plaintiff, known only as HK in the filing-and referred to as RHL, red hot lover, by Lerom-even ended her engagement to pursue the good doctor.

According to the plaintiff’s filings, Lerom billed their romps to Blue Cross Blue Shield as “sessions.”  In addition to meeting in hotel rooms and Lerom’s office, HK gave him a key to facilitate their meetings in her Lakeland home.  And, of course, as in any modern love saga, there are the text messages Lerom sent his patient:

“My body felt great all over after last night. “

 ”I wish you were here in the shower with me to warm me up.” 

“If I were there, I would rub you and kiss you all over.”

There are no charges pending against Lerom, although the evidence above is enough to convict on Class A Betatude.

When reached for comment, a spokesperson for the Citizens Commission on Human Rights had this to say:

“It’s a felony. It’s against the hippocratic oath.  It’s something you just don’t do.”

“This is not OK to do. It’s psychiatric rape. It’s not OK. It’s against the law. You cannot do this.”

We get it, really.  Still, one wonders if Whoopi Goldberg considered the potentiality of psychiatric rape when pontificating on the different degrees of rape, such as “rape” and the ostensibly more serious “rape rape.”  (Rape is a bright line, and stylizing it as different forms with malleable standards-psychiatric rape, rape rape, whatever-diminishes the act’s grave severity.)

Kenneth Starr from Pepperdine to Baylor

By J. DeVoy

Kenneth Starr, current dean of Pepperdine University School of Law, has been named Baylor University’s new president.

For Starr, originally from central Texas, this may be a natural move.  Indeed, most of his career has been spent below the Mason-Dixon line.  Starr earned his A.B. from George Washington University and J.D. from Duke, with a brief excursion to Rhode Island to earn his M.A. at Brown University.  He then clerked for the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals and U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Berger.  Starr served on the Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit before his tenure as Solicitor General under George H.W. Bush.  There’s also that whole Clinton thing.

The jump from leading a law school to an entire university is a considerable one, but not unprecedented.  In 2005, the University of Rochester poached Washington University in St. Louis Law’s dean, Joel Seligman, to serve as its President.  Unfortunately, the efficacy of his tenure is obscured by the down economy, which adversely affects alumni donations, endowment growth and student outcomes.

The cake is a lie

By J. DeVoy

Watching clips of Bridezillas is addicting.  If anyone attended a wedding yesterday, consider the show a behind-the-scenes look at what led to those few hours of showmanship.