Viva San Giuseppe!

March 19, 2009

You don’t need to be a long time reader to know that I’m an Atheist. Nevertheless, I never let my Atheism get in the way of a good tradition.

Today is St. Joseph’s day. In Italy, they treat it like father’s day (naturally, as San Giuseppe is the patron saint of fatherhood). In my family, this day was another excuse to eat together. My sister tells me that during World War II, my Great-Grandmother made a deal with San Giuseppe that she would celebrate his day every year if all her boys came back safely. I think my sister mixed that up with the Mother of Grace Club, but all the boys came back nevertheless.

I figured I would share the recipe for St. Joseph’s Day Beista (that’s Sicilian dialect for “Pasta”)

Viva San Giuseppe!

Viva San Giuseppe!

Ingredients:

1 Cans of Chick Peas
1 Can of cannellini beans
2 Heads of fresh fennel — just the tops above the bulbs
1 Head of Cauliflower
1 Stalk of Broccoli
5 Cloves of Garlic
1 teaspoon of salt
1 tablespoon of pepper
1/4 cup of olive oil
1 Pound of Pasta – preferably broad home-made wide noodles. If you can’t make your own noodles, egg noodles, ditalini, or orzo will do.
1/2 pound ground parmesan cheese

Directions: Wicked easy.

Boil the Pasta until it is done and set aside.

Fill a large pot with a little water with the oil. Chop up the Cauliflower, Broccoli, Garlic, Fennel (saving the bulbs to eat later) and toss in the pot. Boil them. When they have boiled for a few minutes, throw in the can of Chick Peas and the pasta. Make sure there is enough water so that the concoction is a soup, not a pasta with a sauce.

Serve and eat with parmesan cheese sprinkled over the top. I always use tons of cheese myself. So much that I would always get yelled at.

Feel free to tinker with the ratios. I tend to like it to be heavy on the cauliflower, but light on the broccoli.

Note: San Giuseppe is also the patron saint of home buyers and home sellers. So, maybe there should be a whole lotta people out there who give the old Italian Pagan/Catholic thing a try before our home values tank even more.


Oh, I Hate When That Happens…

March 19, 2009

Oh I HATE when I do that!

Oh I HATE when I do that!

How many times do you hear about guys saying “geez, I could have retired if my mom didn’t throw out my old baseball cards when I left for college?”

And remember the story about the asshole dad who wanted to circumcise his son at age 14 against his will?

Well, mix the two stories together and you get the tale of Sun Yaoting.

Only two memories brought tears to Sun Yaoting’s eyes in old age — the day his father cut off his genitals, and the day his family threw away the pickled remains that should have made him a whole man again at death.

His desperate father performed the castration on the bed of their mud-walled home, with no anesthetic and only oil-soaked paper as a bandage. A goose quill was inserted in Sun’s urethra to prevent it getting blocked as the wound healed. (source)


Peter Needed a Jew… Bourne Co Needed a Lesson in Fair Use

March 19, 2009

Peter needed a Jew, Bourne Co. needed an education in Fair Use

Peter needed a Jew, Bourne Co. needed an education in Fair Use

Congress derives its power to enact copyright laws from the copyright clause, U.S. Const. Art. I § 8. which reads:

Congress shall have the power … To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries.

Unfortunately, the music industry is run by twats who believe that the Copyright Clause gives them a complete monopoly over the use of their material. For example – music publishing company, Bourne Co., the owner of the copyright to “When You Wish Upon a Star,” objected to a parody of the song in the Family Guy episode, “When You Wish Upon a Weinstein.” In this episode, Peter Griffin gets scammed into buying volcano insurance on his home in Quahog, Rhode Island. Lois gets fed up with the family’s constant financial problems, so peter decides that he needs a “Jewish money guy” to help him.

The scene at issue in this litigation depicts Peter looking out of a window up at the night sky in a manner similar to that of the toymaker Gepetto in Walt Disney’s Pinocchio when Gepetto is wishing for a “real boy.” (Op. at 4-5)

Peter then sings the now-famous parody, “I Need a Jew” to the tune of “When You Wish Upon a Star.”

Nothing else has worked so far
So I’ll wish upon a star
Wonderous shining speck of light
I need a Jew

Lois makes me take the rap
Cause our checkbook looks like crap
Since I can’t give her a slap
I need a Jew

Where to find
A Baum or Steen or Stein
To teach me how to whine and do
my taaaaaxesss…

Though by many they’re abhored
Hebrew people I’ve adored
Even though they killed my Lord
I need a Jew

While he sings the song, Jews are depicted “as magical creatures that come to Peter in the form of a magical spaceship that turns into a flying dreidel.” (Op. at 5).

Family Guy’s creators initially sought permission from Bourne Co. for a license to use “When You Wish Upon a Star,” but Bourne refused. Therefore, the Family Guy creators decided to commission a song that would be close enough that the average person would recognize it as a parody of the original. When Bourne found out, from seeing a clip on YouTube, they filed a copyright infringement suit.

Any fool knows that parody is “fair use” under Section 107 of the Copyright Act, and constitutes protected speech under Campbell v. Acuff-Rose, 510 U.S. 569, 575 (1994) (2 Live Crew’s parody of “Pretty Woman” not an infringement upon the Roy Orbison original). However, there is a strange wrinkle in copyright law where many courts hold that parody is protected fair use, but satire is not. The difference comes down to whether the later work is criticizing or parodying the original, or if the later work is making a humorous commentary about something else — but using the original work as a tool to do so.

I believe that this distinction is a false one, and I am in good company. However, in Dr. Seuss Enters., L.P., v. Penguin Books USA, Inc., 109 F.3d 1394 (9th Cir. 1997), the Ninth Circuit held that a book about O.J. Simpson called “The Cat NOT in the Hat,” was merely riding on Dr. Seuss’ work to make fun of Orenthal, not making any kind of commentary about the Dr. Seuss original. The Second Circuit has largely adopted this logic, finding that a Jeff Koons photograph was satire, targeting entire genre but not the original upon which he relied to do so. See Blanch v. Koons, 467 F.3d 244 (2d Cir. 2006). Compare Liebovitz v. Paramount Pictures, 137 F.3d 109 (2d Cir. 1998) (Naked Gun advertisement that mocked the Annie Liebovitz photo of a pregnant Demi Moore was parodical use).

Family Guy’s attorneys argued that their use of “When You Wish,” directly lampooned the original in two ways: 1) By skewering the saccharine nature of the original and by making a “sharp point about Walt Disney’s reputed anti-Semitism. (Op. at 14). Bourne Co., argued that “I Need a Jew” merely “ridicules anti-Semitism and Jewish stereotypes,” (Id.) but makes no criticism of the original Disney tune.

The court found Family Guy’s perspective to be more compelling:

The Court finds that by juxtaposing the “saccharin sweet” song “When You Wish Upon a Star” with “I Need a Jew” the Defendants do more than just comment on racism and bigotry generally, as Plaintiff contends. Rather, Defendants’ use of “When You Wish Upon a Star” calls to mind a warm and fuzzy view of the world that is ultimately nonsense; wishing upon a star does not, in fact, make one’s dreams come true. By pairing Peter’s “positive,” though racist, stereotypes of Jewish people with that fairy tale world-view, “I Need a Jew” comments both on the original work’s fantasy of stardust and magic, as well as Peter’s fantasy of the “superiority” of Jews. [I Need a Jew] can be “reasonably perceived” to be commenting that any categorical view of a race of people is childish and simplistic, just like wishing upon a star. (Op. at 15-16).

Bourne argued that the parody itself was unclear and unsupported by the evidence in the case. However, parodies are protected by the First Amendment, “even when they fail to speak clearly.” Relying upon Campbell v. Acuff-Rose, the court reminded Bourne that First Amendment protections do not only apply to clear, funny, or successful parodies. Even “inside jokes” and parodic falures are protected if the “parodic character can be reasonably perceived.” (Op. at 19).


Tennessee Court Upholds the Right to Remain Anonymous

March 18, 2009

by Jason Fischer (follow me on twitter)

Defamatory material, like obscenity, is not protected by the First Amendment. But just like obscenity, a particular message cannot be considered defamatory until it has been adjudged to be so by a court of competent jurisdiction. A Tennessee court, recognizing this principle, allowed a blogger who is accused of publishing defamatory comments to remain anonymous, absent a prima facie showing that the plaintiffs have in fact been defamed. (source)


The Media Comes out in Droves Against Staples v. Noonan

March 17, 2009

We reported, last month, on the Staples v. Noonan case in First Circuit Turns Libel Law on its Head. It looks like a coalition of media groups are trying to convince the First Circuit to give the decision en banc review. (source).

The brief of amici curiae is magnificent. (courtesy CMLP), but I question whether it will be effective. First Amendment warrior-bad-ass, Paul Levy commented:

According to the First Circuit’s web site, there are currently five active judges, http://www.ca1.uscourts.gov/judges.htm, two of whom joined the opinion in question. Just how likely is en banc review on an issue of the interpretation of state law, when the First Amendment issue was not preserved? (source)

The fact that the First Amendment issue was not preserved shouldn’t matter. See Bose Corp. v. Consumers Union of United States, Inc., 466 U.S. 485, 499 (1984) (”[I]n cases raising First Amendment issues . . . an appellate court has an obligation to ‘make an independent examination of the whole record’ in order to make sure that ‘the judgment does not constitute a forbidden intrusion on the field of free expression.’” (quoting New York Times Co. v. Sullivan, 376 U.S. 254, 285 (1964)).

On the other hand, the human element here might be of major concern. It would seem to be an exercise in frustration to take a 3-0 decision and simply add two more judges to the mix. That seems like a recipe for a 3-2 affirmation. However, the initial Noonan v. Staples decision was authored by Torruella, Wallace, and Lipez. Wallace, however, was a 9th Circuit judge, sitting by designation.

Accordingly, should the First Circuit take this case en banc, the First Amendment will have a fighting chance. Staples will need to run the table with the three judges who haven’t chimed in, but as long as those three recognize the Bose Corp. case, Noonan v. Staples should go where it belongs — in the trash heap.


Charles Grassley Clarifies His Position

March 17, 2009

The Straight Talk Express has been taken over by Chuck Grassley

The Straight Talk Express has been taken over by Chuck Grassley


So Charles Grassley backed off from his hyperbolic remarks that the AIG executives should kill themselves. Apparently some hypersensitive queefs (no, that isn’t a typo) thought he meant it literally.

He clarified Tuesday on FOX News that he was referring more to the practice of Japanese business leaders to take responsibility for failing companies. (source)

Okay, now that we’ve heard from the “no shit” department, wanna hear his clarification?

“From my standpoint, it’s irresponsible for corporations to give bonuses at this time when they’re sucking the tit of the taxpayer,” Grassley explained. (source)

Dorsia Dhapmng, our Washington Bureau Chief, tracked down Benjamin Dover, Grassley’s head press liason as he left work today. As we have little in the way of journalistic scruples, Dorsia flashed her thong and got Dover to follow her to Tunnicliff’s Tavern on Capitol Hill, where 16 shots of Don Julio later, Dover was ready to talk about anything. While Dover was puking in the bathroom, Dorsia rifled through Ben’s briefcase and found a draft of the press statement that Grassley intends to issue tomorrow morning.

I regret that my statement may have been misunderstood, and may have been seen as an inappropriate sexual reference by a few uptight nitwits. Allow me to clarify my statement. It fucking sucks for these shitheads who fucked up the fucking economy to fuck us in the ass as they lube us up with our own money. Do I make myself fucking clear now?

Good job, Dorsia!


That was fast…

March 17, 2009

We broke the 500,000 visitor mark today.


Another Brilliant Maneuver by the Catholic Church

March 17, 2009

I really didn’t think that the Catholic Church could be any dumber. Pope Benedict just proved me wrong.

Hat tip to PepsiCan at BigLawBoard


Senator Charles Grassley Gets a Campaign Contribution From Me Next Election

March 17, 2009

Senator Grassley to AIG Pigs, KILLSELF!

Senator Grassley to AIG Pigs, KILLSELF!

Senator Charles Grassley, a Republican from Iowa, called for the AIG executives who just screwed you out of your tax dollars to take responsibility for their screw ups.

In a comment aired this afternoon on WMT, an Iowa radio station, Grassley (R-Iowa) said: “The first thing that would make me feel a little bit better towards them if they’d follow the Japanese model and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say I’m sorry, and then either do one of two things — resign, or go commit suicide.” (source)

It really is too bad that we can’t form an angry mob, go to their houses, and just drag them out in the street and beat them to death. Not that we would, but they would at least be forced to hire an army of security guards – thus transferring a little bit of that wealth back to the working class people they stole it from.


Happy St. Patricks’ Day

March 17, 2009

Remember: If you don’t have anything nice to say, you should just say it on teh Internets

March 13, 2009

by Jason Fischer (follow me on twitter)

Google was in court this week over allegedly defamatory comments made on an anonymous blog that the search giant hosts. Chris Thompson’s post describes the gory details, including references to two of our favorite cases: Hot Chicks With Douchebags and AutoAdmit.

Update: If you want to start an anonymous blog, here are some guidelines.


Online Support for the Shoe-Thrower

March 13, 2009

Today’s CNN online reports on how fans of Muntadhar al-Zaidi, better known as the “shoe throwing journalist” have united online.

Ari Vais, the creator of the [facebook] page, “Free the Iraqi shoe throwing journalist!,” said his own history taught him the value of free expression.

“I was born in the Soviet Union, where dissent like this was cracked down on severely,” said Vais, a 39-year-old Queens, New York, musician. “We came to America when I was a boy because we knew that people should be free.”

What al-Zaidi did was a reflection of the democracy Vais thought Bush intended to spread.

“We were supposed to be liberators, and what America stands for is freedom of self-expression and human rights,” he said. “All he did was throw a couple shoes. And he missed! It was political theater and not jail-time stuff.” (source)

Well, sorta. Does “freedom” mean the freedom to try and bean another person with a shoe? No. On the other hand, is it a bit excessive to send a guy to jail for three years for trying, unsuccessfully, to bean another person with a shoe? Yeah, it is.

The facts are: Bush is a douche and deserved to be smacked in the face with a muddy work boot. Unfortunately, the only person in the world with the balls to do it was an Iraqi who throws like a sissy.


Contest! – Guess who these girls are

March 13, 2009

Want to win a Legal Satyricon “major award?

Take a look at the photo below.

No cheating, comment first -- then click.  Hint: The correct answer is not 少年ナイフ.

No cheating, comment first -- then click.
Hint: The correct answer is not 少年ナイフ.

Use the comments to post your guess as to who these three girls are.

Then click over to Popehat for the answer.

You are ineligible if you’ve seen the news story already or have any prior knowledge of the answer.

If nobody gets it right, the funniest answer will win a yet undetermined prize.


Change?

March 12, 2009

Looks like Obama hasn’t changed the practice of using “signing statements.”

I wrote a big check to the guy’s campaign. I worked on his campaign. For christ sake, I made my wife delay getting a c-section for four days so that I could make sure I was available for any appeals after the election. I’m a committed Obama-fan. But, I did say that this was one category where McCain won the points.

Unless the consequences are imminent invasion by aliens from the planet ass-fuck, then a president should veto any bill that he thinks is unconstitutional — even a teeny weeny part of it.

B, you are pissing me off.

Update: In all fairness, during the campaign, Obama did say that he would use signing statements.


Suck it, Don Wildmon!

March 12, 2009

David Ogden confirmed as #2 at the Department of Justice — despite the fact that he (gasp!) represented adult entertainment clients in the past.

I hope that his first task is to deliver a pink slip to Mary Beth Buchanan.


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