This just in from the ARE YOU FREAKIN’ SERIOUS? department:
With an election looming, you knew that a few neo-cons would trot out anti-gay measures. Homosexuals are the last minority that you can still pick on and possibly win an election. So, here it is, your bigotry du election cycle, a proposed Constitutional amendment.
`Section 1. This article may be cited as the `Marriage Protection Amendment’.
`Section 2. Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this Constitution, nor the constitution of any State, shall be construed to require that marriage or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any union other than the union of a man and a woman.’.
As we all know, that damn Constitution is just giving out rights willy-nilly. It is about time that we pass the first Constitutional Amendment since Prohibition (and the second in history) to take rights away from the citizenry.
Remember that this amendment comes from the party that cries “states’ rights!” Now that “states’ rights” seems to be trending toward equality (well, at least in non peckerwood states), a few Republicans just can’t seem to stand that little old concept of federalism.
Oh, wow, sponsors. That’s right… here is the list of the guys who want to turn the Constitution into a vehicle of bigotry.
- Sen Allard, Wayne [CO]
- Sen Brownback, Sam [KS]
- Sen Craig, Larry E. [ID]
- Sen Enzi, Michael B. [WY]
- Sen Inhofe, James M. [OK]
- Sen Roberts, Pat [KS]
- Sen Shelby, Richard C. [AL]
- Sen Thune, John [SD]
- Sen Vitter, David [LA]
See anything funny? Yes, the same Larry Craig who was looking for dick in an airport bathroom, and the same David Vitter who can’t keep his pecker out of prostitutes, are on the front lines defending “traditional family values.”
Don’t get me wrong, I think that both men should have the freedom to do both, but didn’t any of the other sponsors have the brains to ask them if they might be willing to, err… umm… sit this one out?
Okay, Sam Brownback is not exactly a brain trust. In fact, he’s so criminally stupid that every person related to him (or who ever has ever cast a vote for him) should be sterilized. But for real… this must be a prank. Seriously.
I can’t even give an ass hat award to these guys. They’d wind up walking around with it on their elbows.
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June 28, 2008 at 3:25 pm
The argument against marriage always begins with “it is just not right,” “it is unnatural,” or “marriage is sacred.” I agree! Confused?
Marriage is sacred! It is so sacred that it survives a divorce rate over 50% in America. It is so sacred that individuals of different races are allowed to get married and subsequently divorce. It is so sacred that we give full faith and credit to marriages arising from “Axis of Evil” countries. Marriage is so sacred that elderly, barren and sterile individuals are allowed to indulge in the institution. Minor are allowed to marry. Marriage recognized the right of insane individuals to marry. It is so sacred that prisoners are allowed to marry. Marriage is so sacred that slave owners allowed slaves to get married…SACRED!
Thus, it should follow that a country that allows: prisoners, slaves, elderly, insane, minors, interracial couples, people who do it just for their kids but actually hate one another…to marry should allow loving same sex couple to MARRY…not to civilly unionize, MARRIED. If we recognize the marriage of people from countries that hate us, why do we prohibit red blooded, American same sex couples from enjoying the same right? If we allowed slaves (who had NO rights) to marry, why not gays? If prisons, those that waived their rights to live in a free society, can marry, why not lesbians?
All arguments against gay marriage are based in ignorance and hatred. Worse, sometimes it is based in religious ideology (I personally do not understand the christian homosexual…why believe in a god and son that hate you?).
Who cares what other people do with their lives? A gay marriage does not invalidate a heterosexual marriage. The subsequent hatred of your existence, manifested in a divorce will invalidate the marriage. We should allow the same happiness and misery to heterosexuals and homosexuals.
Most would agree that Loving v. Virginia was a great step forward for America. Why do we have the blinders on for homosexuals? The case is the same, just replace interracial with same sex.
I will not address procreation or the purposes of marriage arguments because they are all without merit.
July 1, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Not the last minority, no. The disabled still get picked on all the time by folks who win elections. As far as I’m concerned, we qualify as a minority group.
July 1, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Hold the phone… the disabled get picked on by elected officials?
I’m not saying you’re full of it, but if you have examples, I would love to give you a platform to discuss them here.