The Most Amazing News…

Jennifer Lynne Randazza

Mrs. Legal Satyricon

This has nothing to do with any legal issues, but I just so happen to be exploding with joy and happiness right now — and wanted to share it with the whole world.

This February, the First Amendment Lawyers’ Association meeting was in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. As the meeting date also coincided with my girlfriend’s birthday, I made it a twofer.


Where babies
really come from

While we were there, Jennifer conceived. According to the gynecologist, the date of conception was Feb. 22, 2008 — which makes a lot of sense, because we had a particularly spirited drunken tryst that day. Yep, some great scuba diving, some great mojitos with some of my best friends, a little whisper of “lets go take a nap,” in my ear, and a new life begins.


No, it wasn’t planned… but that doesn’t diminish the joy one bit. Nobody plans to win the lottery either — and this beats the living daylights out of winning the lottery! This just shuffled up the order of our plans a little bit.

And yes, I’m making an “honest woman” out of her. So it looks like at the tender young age of 38, I’m getting tied down…hitched… off the market. I’m a bit stunned that she said “yes,” since I managed to stammer and stutter out the worst proposal ever offered to a woman. It was pathetic… really really bad. I think that the words “might as well” were used.

She has confirmed that it was the most miserable proposal ever – but that she’d give me the rest of my life to make it up to her. I just can’t believe my good fortune. I have had accomplishments in my life that have swelled my ego — but for this girl to want to both marry me and have my children… wow… WOW… I must be either the coolest or the luckiest guy in the world. Probably the latter.

Everyone, meet Mrs. Legal Satyricon, the future Jennifer Lynne Randazza. I look forward to introducing you to the third member of the family as soon as he or she is ready to make an appearance.

Marc and Jen

With a mom this lovely, can you imagine how beautiful this kid is going to be? (I really hope that my genes are recessive)

37 Responses to The Most Amazing News…

  1. Tara says:

    Congratulations Prof. XXX!

  2. Congratulations! You realize the littlest Randazza may read this one day as you are warning them about the perils of social media. (Only kidding….) There is nothing like having a little one to change your life.

  3. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    :) I have been completely manic since I found out. I can’t stop smiling. Jennifer is about to kill me because she isn’t getting any sleep. I’m an insomniac anyhow. I used to get up and blog. Now, every time I wake up I wake her up to tell her I love her.

    Yes, I’m a mushball. I know.

  4. Randy says:

    This is incredibly cool, I’m so happy for both of you and I can’t wait to see you, Jennifer and the little one. Take care, Randy

  5. Kenan says:

    Congrats…I’ve got your blog on RSS and think it’s great. That’s great news and good luck with all the excitement sure to come your way.

  6. A double mazel tov! Wishing the soon-to-be Mrs. all the best health going forward.
    (And now I know what goes at those alleged legal conferences)

  7. bill says:

    Congratulations, my friend. Thanks for including Jeanne and me in the news! Any wedding date? Treat both human joys as very special even when you think you have reasons not to. We human beings have a tendency now and then to forget to treat our treasures as we should. :)

  8. Paulie G. says:

    Marc! Congrats man – that’s super cool…and future JLR, you hooked yourself a good – no, great – one! Best, PDG.

  9. teresa says:

    yay! Congratulations. More kids for mine to boss around at family gatherings. . .

  10. keith says:

    hey-great news! i wish you the best-god bless! keithpal

  11. Sandi says:

    WOW! Congrats, Marc. Your life will never be the same…it will be so much better!!! All the best.

  12. Beth says:

    Congrats! Welcome to parenthood! I am so happy for you and the future Mrs. When are you coming North so we can meet her?!

  13. Craig says:


    She’s frickin’ HOT!! And you’re so ugly. I mean you’re really fucking ugly, man. Jesus H. Christ you’re the ugliest motherfucker I’ve ever seen. How’s that happen?

    Anyway, I am thrilled beyond comprehension with your news and I am just so happy to know that you’ll be a dad, cuz you’ll make a great one.

    Feb. 22, huh? That’s my wife’s birthday. Seems like we were up to the same shit that night.

    Much love,

  14. tom merchant says:

    Marc, thats fabulous news -I’m so happy for you…

    Is the MotoGuzzi on the block yet? Just kidding…
    You’d get a sidecar like Burkhalter and Klink first, right?

  15. She says that I can keep my motorcycle if she can keep hers. One of many good deals I’m getting lately!

  16. Dan King says:

    yah mon,
    2/22 a fab day for making babies. noted.
    cheers to the beginning of the great adventure!

  17. blevinsj says:

    CONGRATS!!!! Remember we “MUST PROTECT THE CHILDREN!” hahaha

  18. jen and ry amero says:

    Holy shyte!

    We can’t believe it!! Does this mean you’ll have a contestant for the ugly christmas sweater junior category?! Ill have to get working on jules getuo – the ameros like to win you know…and I guess that means Marc n I have to behave, being all married and all

    But seriously CONGRATULATIONS! Jen is a doll and obviously a very tolreant and very smart lady. Marc you are going to be a wonderful dad – I hope your offspring are wild little brats – bad kids are way more interesting and you do reap what you sow…

    Love and blessings and a cackle to you all as you learn first hand what 365 straight nights without sleep feels like – although I guess the insomniac will take the nihgtshift huh!?
    Its tougher when its not self induced or the result of good shrooms sorry!
    When are you tying the knot?
    Jen n ry

  19. Steve Kushner says:

    We ALL hope your genes are recessive!

    Best wishes, Man.

  20. Congratulations Marc, that is exciting news. Married life ain’t so bad these days with the many diversions available to extricate ourselves from their oppressive clutches.

  21. Congratu-flippin-lations, sweetie!

    We’re so happy for you — all except for Abbey, who was appalled, as usual, but who has gamely offered to teach the baby to roll her eyes at you at a very early age :-)

    Seriously, best wishes for a happy, healthy pregnancy for your intended. Can’t wait to meet her.

  22. Welcome to the cult of parenthood. I’m very happy for you and your wife-to-be but I’m especially happy for the little one…you will have alot to offer eachother. Now you can help me write the book I’ve always wanted to write: “Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Parenting I Learned on Acid”.
    Warmest Regards,

    ps weirdest thing is…while you were busy conceiving I was busy digitizing “Randazza Flix” from 1992…something about coming to fruition perhaps.

  23. Bobby Wilson says:

    May you all be Blessed by this and all of life–it’s all good

  24. Harriot says:

    Congrats! That’s fan-fuckin-tastic!! I know the perfect man-child babysitter for you. Ain’t nothing wrong with a shot-gun wedding! Yee-ha!

  25. Sahri says:

    I don’t know where to start! Most heartfelt congratulations on both the wedding and the baby. Yopu are very lucky. Man, I really have to meet the woman who made you an honest man. She must be extrordinary. XO

  26. Rich Julie says:

    Congrats! Your boys can swim!!

  27. Teri says:

    Congrats, congrats, congrats!! Who would have thought that I would be saying to Marc Randazza, “YOU ARE GOING TO BE AN AWESOME DAD!!!”?? I mean, I always knew you would be–but now I get to witness it! Yay–big hug! Cassie, of course, is a little sad about the wedding thing, but if she gets to be an honorary cousin, she will get over it soon enough. Good thing she likes Jennifer or else you could have been in some deep trouble! heehee! The whole Cioffi clan sends a big Jersey congrats to the both of you. We will (hopefully) see you in May! LOVE!

  28. SHG says:

    So we’ll talk when its time, Grasshopper. Congratulations.

  29. Reality check time… I stopped by Jennifer’s classroom today (she is a schoolteacher) and one of her kids asked if I was her father.

    Couldn’t the little shit have just poked me in the eye with a sharp stick?

  30. It’s official – hell has frozen F’ing solid.
    You know, whenever I see a pregnant woman I go up to her and say,
    “I bet some prick did that!”
    In this case, no truer words were ever spoken.

    Seriously, though, Congratulations, Marc and Jennifer! We’re very excited for you. And I’m excited at being able to get back at you for laughing every time I had to miss some partying opportunity due to family obligations. As they say, payback is a bitch, and then you die.

    And by the way, you’re just lucky that the kid in her class didn’t ask you if you were HIS (or her) father….

  31. …wait a minute. Upon closer reading:
    “While we were there, Jennifer conceived.”
    Talk about using the ‘passive’ voice, leaving lots of room for speculation and ‘reading between the lines’….. This ambiguous press release begs the following questions:
    -Did she do it all by herself?
    -Does the Vatican need to be notified?
    -Were ‘alternative interrogation techniques’ employed?

    “Jennifer conceived.” A subtle allusion to the Gospel accdg to ‘Marc’ (“Jesus wept.”)?
    Jeez – they have Strunk & White on the web don’t they?

  32. If you ask me, she DID do it all by herself!!! She’s the one puking every day.

  33. jonnygatt says:

    congratz cuz i’m still in shock. my title as “expert on life” may not extend this far.

  34. Anthony says:


  35. CARLO says:

    E bravo al fratello Marc…. ho dato uno sguardo al link che mi hai mandato… spero di poterti vedere prestissimo e di poter conoscere tua moglie!
    Un abbraccio

  36. Congrats Marc, just surfing and found your blog. Glad to hear the great news both of them and I wish you all the best, kids are a blessing, the best thing to happen to a person and I know they are lucky to have you for a dad! Auguri!!

    Your old Perugian friend!


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