Mrs. Legal Satyricon
This has nothing to do with any legal issues, but I just so happen to be exploding with joy and happiness right now — and wanted to share it with the whole world.
This February, the First Amendment Lawyers’ Association meeting was in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. As the meeting date also coincided with my girlfriend’s birthday, I made it a twofer.
Where babies
really come from
While we were there, Jennifer conceived. According to the gynecologist, the date of conception was Feb. 22, 2008 — which makes a lot of sense, because we had a particularly spirited drunken tryst that day. Yep, some great scuba diving, some great mojitos with some of my best friends, a little whisper of “lets go take a nap,” in my ear, and a new life begins.
Wow.
No, it wasn’t planned… but that doesn’t diminish the joy one bit. Nobody plans to win the lottery either — and this beats the living daylights out of winning the lottery! This just shuffled up the order of our plans a little bit.
And yes, I’m making an “honest woman” out of her. So it looks like at the tender young age of 38, I’m getting tied down…hitched… off the market. I’m a bit stunned that she said “yes,” since I managed to stammer and stutter out the worst proposal ever offered to a woman. It was pathetic… really really bad. I think that the words “might as well” were used.
She has confirmed that it was the most miserable proposal ever – but that she’d give me the rest of my life to make it up to her. I just can’t believe my good fortune. I have had accomplishments in my life that have swelled my ego — but for this girl to want to both marry me and have my children… wow… WOW… I must be either the coolest or the luckiest guy in the world. Probably the latter.
Everyone, meet Mrs. Legal Satyricon, the future Jennifer Lynne Randazza. I look forward to introducing you to the third member of the family as soon as he or she is ready to make an appearance.
With a mom this lovely, can you imagine how beautiful this kid is going to be? (I really hope that my genes are recessive)
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March 22, 2008 at 4:02 pm |
DUDE!!!
March 22, 2008 at 4:10 pm |
Congratulations Prof. XXX!
March 22, 2008 at 4:17 pm |
Congratulations! You realize the littlest Randazza may read this one day as you are warning them about the perils of social media. (Only kidding….) There is nothing like having a little one to change your life.
March 22, 2008 at 4:52 pm |
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
:) I have been completely manic since I found out. I can’t stop smiling. Jennifer is about to kill me because she isn’t getting any sleep. I’m an insomniac anyhow. I used to get up and blog. Now, every time I wake up I wake her up to tell her I love her.
Yes, I’m a mushball. I know.
March 22, 2008 at 8:52 pm |
This is incredibly cool, I’m so happy for both of you and I can’t wait to see you, Jennifer and the little one. Take care, Randy
March 22, 2008 at 11:07 pm |
Congrats…I’ve got your blog on RSS and think it’s great. That’s great news and good luck with all the excitement sure to come your way.
March 23, 2008 at 8:36 am |
A double mazel tov! Wishing the soon-to-be Mrs. all the best health going forward.
(And now I know what goes at those alleged legal conferences)
March 23, 2008 at 8:55 am |
Congratulations, my friend. Thanks for including Jeanne and me in the news! Any wedding date? Treat both human joys as very special even when you think you have reasons not to. We human beings have a tendency now and then to forget to treat our treasures as we should. :)
March 23, 2008 at 12:39 pm |
Marc! Congrats man – that’s super cool…and future JLR, you hooked yourself a good – no, great – one! Best, PDG.
March 23, 2008 at 2:58 pm |
yay! Congratulations. More kids for mine to boss around at family gatherings. . .
teresa
March 23, 2008 at 3:10 pm |
hey-great news! i wish you the best-god bless! keithpal
March 23, 2008 at 3:43 pm |
WOW! Congrats, Marc. Your life will never be the same…it will be so much better!!! All the best.
March 23, 2008 at 4:23 pm |
Congrats! Welcome to parenthood! I am so happy for you and the future Mrs. When are you coming North so we can meet her?!
March 23, 2008 at 4:51 pm |
Dude,
She’s frickin’ HOT!! And you’re so ugly. I mean you’re really fucking ugly, man. Jesus H. Christ you’re the ugliest motherfucker I’ve ever seen. How’s that happen?
Anyway, I am thrilled beyond comprehension with your news and I am just so happy to know that you’ll be a dad, cuz you’ll make a great one.
Feb. 22, huh? That’s my wife’s birthday. Seems like we were up to the same shit that night.
Much love,
Craig
March 23, 2008 at 7:06 pm |
Marc, thats fabulous news -I’m so happy for you…
Is the MotoGuzzi on the block yet? Just kidding…
You’d get a sidecar like Burkhalter and Klink first, right?
March 23, 2008 at 7:21 pm |
She says that I can keep my motorcycle if she can keep hers. One of many good deals I’m getting lately!
March 23, 2008 at 8:40 pm |
yah mon,
2/22 a fab day for making babies. noted.
cheers to the beginning of the great adventure!
DK
March 23, 2008 at 8:45 pm |
CONGRATS!!!! Remember we “MUST PROTECT THE CHILDREN!” hahaha
March 23, 2008 at 10:09 pm |
Holy shyte!
We can’t believe it!! Does this mean you’ll have a contestant for the ugly christmas sweater junior category?! Ill have to get working on jules getuo – the ameros like to win you know…and I guess that means Marc n I have to behave, being all married and all
But seriously CONGRATULATIONS! Jen is a doll and obviously a very tolreant and very smart lady. Marc you are going to be a wonderful dad – I hope your offspring are wild little brats – bad kids are way more interesting and you do reap what you sow…
Love and blessings and a cackle to you all as you learn first hand what 365 straight nights without sleep feels like – although I guess the insomniac will take the nihgtshift huh!?
Its tougher when its not self induced or the result of good shrooms sorry!
When are you tying the knot?
Jen n ry
March 23, 2008 at 11:19 pm |
We ALL hope your genes are recessive!
Best wishes, Man.
March 24, 2008 at 4:51 am |
Congratulations Marc, that is exciting news. Married life ain’t so bad these days with the many diversions available to extricate ourselves from their oppressive clutches.
March 24, 2008 at 5:03 am |
Congratu-flippin-lations, sweetie!
We’re so happy for you — all except for Abbey, who was appalled, as usual, but who has gamely offered to teach the baby to roll her eyes at you at a very early age :-)
Seriously, best wishes for a happy, healthy pregnancy for your intended. Can’t wait to meet her.
March 24, 2008 at 6:55 am |
Welcome to the cult of parenthood. I’m very happy for you and your wife-to-be but I’m especially happy for the little one…you will have alot to offer eachother. Now you can help me write the book I’ve always wanted to write: “Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Parenting I Learned on Acid”.
Warmest Regards,
Julian
ps weirdest thing is…while you were busy conceiving I was busy digitizing “Randazza Flix” from 1992…something about coming to fruition perhaps.
March 24, 2008 at 6:59 am |
May you all be Blessed by this and all of life–it’s all good
March 24, 2008 at 8:29 am |
Congrats! That’s fan-fuckin-tastic!! I know the perfect man-child babysitter for you. Ain’t nothing wrong with a shot-gun wedding! Yee-ha!
March 24, 2008 at 9:03 am |
I don’t know where to start! Most heartfelt congratulations on both the wedding and the baby. Yopu are very lucky. Man, I really have to meet the woman who made you an honest man. She must be extrordinary. XO
March 24, 2008 at 3:24 pm |
Congrats! Your boys can swim!!
March 24, 2008 at 3:28 pm |
Congrats, congrats, congrats!! Who would have thought that I would be saying to Marc Randazza, “YOU ARE GOING TO BE AN AWESOME DAD!!!”?? I mean, I always knew you would be–but now I get to witness it! Yay–big hug! Cassie, of course, is a little sad about the wedding thing, but if she gets to be an honorary cousin, she will get over it soon enough. Good thing she likes Jennifer or else you could have been in some deep trouble! heehee! The whole Cioffi clan sends a big Jersey congrats to the both of you. We will (hopefully) see you in May! LOVE!
March 24, 2008 at 5:15 pm |
So we’ll talk when its time, Grasshopper. Congratulations.
March 24, 2008 at 7:20 pm |
Reality check time… I stopped by Jennifer’s classroom today (she is a schoolteacher) and one of her kids asked if I was her father.
Couldn’t the little shit have just poked me in the eye with a sharp stick?
March 25, 2008 at 12:53 pm |
It’s official – hell has frozen F’ing solid.
You know, whenever I see a pregnant woman I go up to her and say,
“I bet some prick did that!”
In this case, no truer words were ever spoken.
Seriously, though, Congratulations, Marc and Jennifer! We’re very excited for you. And I’m excited at being able to get back at you for laughing every time I had to miss some partying opportunity due to family obligations. As they say, payback is a bitch, and then you die.
And by the way, you’re just lucky that the kid in her class didn’t ask you if you were HIS (or her) father….
March 25, 2008 at 3:38 pm |
…wait a minute. Upon closer reading:
“While we were there, Jennifer conceived.”
Huh?
Talk about using the ‘passive’ voice, leaving lots of room for speculation and ‘reading between the lines’….. This ambiguous press release begs the following questions:
-Did she do it all by herself?
-Does the Vatican need to be notified?
-Were ‘alternative interrogation techniques’ employed?
“Jennifer conceived.” A subtle allusion to the Gospel accdg to ‘Marc’ (“Jesus wept.”)?
Jeez – they have Strunk & White on the web don’t they?
March 25, 2008 at 5:30 pm |
If you ask me, she DID do it all by herself!!! She’s the one puking every day.
March 27, 2008 at 7:28 pm |
congratz cuz i’m still in shock. my title as “expert on life” may not extend this far.
April 10, 2008 at 9:42 pm |
Congrats!
April 29, 2008 at 8:46 am |
E bravo al fratello Marc…. ho dato uno sguardo al link che mi hai mandato… spero di poterti vedere prestissimo e di poter conoscere tua moglie!
Un abbraccio
June 30, 2008 at 6:40 pm |
Congrats Marc, just surfing and found your blog. Glad to hear the great news both of them and I wish you all the best, kids are a blessing, the best thing to happen to a person and I know they are lucky to have you for a dad! Auguri!!
Your old Perugian friend!
Rita