Doctor Theopolis

December 20, 2014

In some cultures, Dr. Theopolis would be considered “bling.”


That is all

Argentine Debt Crisis Case Will be Opened

December 13, 2014

The motion we filed on behalf of Argentine journalist Jorge Lanata was granted yesterday. (Order)

The order has some very inspiring language in it. When a judge cites to Madison’s writings, you know you’ve had a good day as a First Amendment lawyer.

JAMES MADISON, THE FEDERALIST NO. 51 (“If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on government would be necessary. In framing a government which is to be administered by men over men, the great difficulty lies in this: you must first enable the government to control the governed; and in the next place oblige it to control itself.”); Globe Newspaper Co. v. Superior Court for Norfolk Cnty., 457 U.S. 596, 606 (1982) (“[T]he right of access to [records in] trials plays a particularly significant role in the functioning of the judicial process and the government as a whole. Public scrutiny . . . enhances the quality and safeguards the integrity of the fact finding process, with benefits to both the defendant and to society as a whole.”).(Order at 5, fn. 4)

Fighting to keep court proceedings open

December 9, 2014

I have the privilege of representing Argentine journalist Jorge Lanata and The Center for Investigative Journalism in the Americas. I’ll let them speak for themselves – here – but suffice to say, I’m quite proud to be working for them.

Pearl Harbor Day – Never Forget

December 7, 2014

20121206_121048_pearl harbor

On this day, in 1941, the Empire of Japan attacked the United States.

We reacted by kicking the shit out of them.

It wasn’t all a Frank Capra film. We made some little mistakes along the way, internment camps for Japanese and Italians, for example. But, for the most part, we went through the War with our ideals intact. In fact, WWII spurred us to be even better. We didn’t change who we were because some pussy-assed “Emperor” okayed an attack on us.

When we rolled into a place, they called us “liberators.”

That was when this country had courage and conviction. That was when “land of the free, and home of the brave” was the goddamned truth.

Never forget, right?

Today, we react to even imaginary enemies and threats with hang-wringing, the elimination of civil liberties, and we let abject flunkies do it to us. We invade countries for money and influence, with liberty be damned. Our “enemy” is ourselves, not some goat-fuckers in some shit-hole of a country thousands of miles away. Monsanto and the Department of Homeland Security have done more damage to us than every Mitsubishi Zero combined.

Happy Pearl Harbor day, land of the mewling cowards.

Go check your Facebook page or your Twitter feed – I’m sure that it is smeared with “NEVER FORGET.” I don’t care if we forget that the Japanese bombed us. In fact, fuck it, lets forget. Japan is our buddy now. They’re really sorry about all that shit, the same way we’re sorry that we nuked them. I don’t need to remember that Japan was a bunch of warmongering assholes a half a century ago.

What I want to “never forget” is that a half a century ago, we were a nation of bad asses that stood for something. What I want to “never forget” is not just that my grandfather went to war (and that’s a good story), wondering if he would ever come back, but that while he was at war, everyone back here pitched in too.

Taxes went up to pay for the war. We rationed to support the effort. Everyone pitched in, rich and poor. Everyone went to war, privileged or not.

If George W. Bush had said on September 12, 2001 that he was going to raise taxes to pay for the war he was about to launch, his best friends would have had him assassinated. If we instituted a draft, so that everyone in the country had to be part of these idiotic adventures in the Middle East, there would be riots. If any one of us, not already in the military, had to sacrifice one bit, you can bet we’d cut and run from Iraq and Afghanistan faster than you can say “Mitt Romney.” Our reaction to our last attack was to turn in on ourselves, and rip out our own guts and hearts.

So, never forget that on December 7, 1941, we all pulled together – militarily, financially, socially, to defeat the enemy, and we didn’t sell out our ideals to do it. We were Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.

What a difference a half a century makes.

Any one of you who posts “never forget” or some other jingoism should remember that this is what we are now:

Mewling. Fucking. Cowards.

Those members of the “greatest generation” who are still alive should spit in our faces and kick our asses for what we’ve let America become, because we might remember the day, but we forgot who we are.

Well, not ALL feminists, right?

November 21, 2014

“[F]eminists adore trigger warnings because it reinforces the idea that women are ruled by their emotions, are incapable of recovering from trauma and are just generally hysterical nitwits unprepared to confront adulthood and reality.” (source)

Julien Blanc Denied Visa to Enter UK – Nothing to Rejoice

November 19, 2014

I do not think much of Julien Blanc. That much has made its rounds on the internets due to a letter I wrote. I did not release that letter to the public, so I do not want to link to it.

Despite having a very negative opinion of Blanc, I was dismayed to see this — that he has been denied a visa to enter the UK because of his thoughts. (source)

As objectionable as I find Mr. Blanc, I find no justification to deny a guy entry to your country, because you’re afraid that he will speak bad words.

Fuck the UK. For no other reason than they finally went and did something that makes me side WITH Julien Blanc.

Bill Cosby’s lawyers: I DECLARE CONFIDENTIALITY!!!!

November 19, 2014

I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors. Some woman claims that Bill Cosby raped her 30 years ago. He allegedly gave her a pill and some wine. Did it happen? I dunno. Maybe I just don’t want to believe that Bill Cosby would ever do anything bad to anyone.

So for now, I’m in the “anything could be true, but doesn’t sound legit” camp.

I would, however, like to take sides against him on one thing, and one thing only. His lawyer’s attempt to claim that a demand letter sent to Buzzfeed is “confidential.” (source)



For those of you who are regular readers, you already know that this is bullshit, because you read “I DECLARE CONFIDENTIALITY!

No, not the rape thing. The real bullshit is at the top:


No. Wrong. Jesus Hello Kitty Christ on a Rocket-Powered Toboggan, NO!

It is NOT confidential.

You CAN disseminate it.



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